Apple Releases New iSpoz™ Social Media Portal

The new Apple iSpoz™:

  • Smaller than the iPod, iPhone, or Apple Watch
  • Communicates through your auditory channels like schizophrenia
  • No keyboard, reads nerve impulses directly from your spine
  • Self-powering from bodily warmth
  • Attractive, Euro-modern design in a tiny package
  • Fits securely in the rectum for secure and uninterrupted use

Available exclusively on Death Metal Underground paired with the war metal or post-metal release of your choice.

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