HOW FACEBOOK SCREWED THE LORD OF LOGOS

On March 29th, 2014, I was booked on a conceptually enticing extreme metal show in San Antonio, TX.  It was held in honor of Christophe Szpajdel, the infamous “Lord of the Logos” who designed the logos for a good amount of the most relevant black metal bands over the last few decades.  Headlined by Abazagorath, every band on the bill had a Christophe-drawn logo.  Christophe himself was flown across the Atlantic to be present to draw logos for concertgoers on the spot.  But thanks to the abomination that is Facebook, Christophe never made it out of the airport.

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Weathering the Storm as a Republican Metalhead

November 8th, 2016.  Manhattan, NY.  Election night.  I was there.

Wading back and forth between a crowd of suits and red hats gathered outside the Fox News building on 6th ave and a similar group gathered a few blocks north outside the Hilton hotel where the soon-to-be President-Elect was present, I celebrated ecstatically as electoral college results came in showing my favorite politician on the cusp of capturing the presidency.  All of us were over the moon with excitement and bliss, particularly because New York City had seldom presented a place where support of the man the media branded as Hitler 2.0 could be expressed openly.

While walking home and passing virtually every media truck parked for a mile along the road where America’s next President prepared his victory speech, a young NPR reporter excitedly rushed over to me with her microphone and cameraman after seeing the ridiculous “Trump 2020” pins on my shirt.  I agreed to her request for interview and explained why I thought Trump’s non-interventionist foreign policy and realist economic objectives would benefit the country’s middle and working classes.  Admitting her surprise to learn that I was a compliance director working near Wall St. and not the basic redneck Trump voter the media had branded us as, she asked if I was excited about the likelihood of supporting Trump being more socially acceptable now that he was president.  “Yeah” I said “It finally won’t be taboo now!”

We could not have been more wrong.
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Liberal Music Fans Fooled by Grindcore Charity Deception

A massive amount of gullible liberal retards have fallen for a masterful charity deception running on Bandcamp via a “grindcore band” called Anal Trump. The band’s new album If you Want to Qualify for Health Insurance, Then Maybe You Should Have Gotten Raped? currently is the service’s top selling album despite the entire album being less than 60 seconds and offering virtually no music content. Priced at $5.00 (though users are able to pay more), the band claims 100% of “net proceeds” will be donated to the charity RAINN. This is in fact a cleverly worded deception as Bandcamp’s payout model takes 15% of all sales plus a processing fee (varying based on the amount), meaning that instead of donating $5.00 directly to the charity and getting nothing in return, users are donating $3.95 to the charity and $1.05 to Bandcamp and getting nothing in return.

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Southern Poverty Law Center Says Milk Is Racist

The Southern Poverty Law Center’s Hatewatch feed and Mic Media claim milk is “a new, creamy symbol of white racial purity in Donald Trump’s America”. Yes as a white man with orange skin is president, cow’s milk is racist even though European, African, Middle Eastern, and Indian populations are all lactose tolerant. Cheese and yogurt sauce anyone?

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Trump Appoints Corporate Stooge to Head FCC

President Donald Trump, who nixed his predecessor Barack Obama’s transfer of American wealth to rice paddy waders for the benefit of plutocrats through the Trans Pacific Partnership, followed Obama’s example and appointed a corporate stooge for the telecommunications industry to head the Federal Communications Commission. Ajit Pai replaces the retiring Tom Wheeler who was head of both the the National Cable & Telecommunications Association and the Cellular Telecommunications & Internet Association which both previously lobbied on behalf of large telecommunications providers against net neutrality, one of the founding principles of the internet. Ajit Pai sat on the board and has opposed all regulations and rulings in favor of consumers, supporting the right of internet service providers to censor and throttle content to their customers’ connections.

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Anti-Fascists Plan to Stink Bomb Trump Inauguration

Project Veritas caught wind that anti-fascists and communists were planning to stink bomb the presidential inauguration of Donald J. Trump. The Progress Unity Fund, Worker’s World Party, Americans Take Action, the Answer Coalition, and other Marxist organizations were implicated. The DC Anti-Fascist Coalition was caught on video planning to pump a pint of butyric acid into an inaugural ball. Planning and scouting out locations for such an action is a violation of anti-terrorist laws.

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New York Times Accuses Varg Vikernes of Being “Alt-Right”

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Democratic Party shilling and identity politics peddling newspaper the New York Times labeled Varg Vikernes of Burzum as “alt-right” in yet another social justice warring piece whining about Donald Trump’s triumph. “Alt-right” has seemingly become a new scarlet letter for neoliberal propagandists to paint their conservative opponents who aren’t the Republican Party’s traditional Christian and business interest constituents. Modern leftists can never appeal to the competent, gainfully employed, and rational so they must constantly invent new slurs to slander those who see straight through the thin veneer of the liberal social narrative plastered over urban societal rot.

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The Guardian Claims the Alt-Right is Turning People Racist

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Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Rainier Weikusat.

Liberal UK mouthpiece the Guardian posted an anonymous editorial where the anonymous author tells us how he as an completely harmless, aspiring, young, white, liberal was almost turned into a hateful [insert what you like] by accidental exposure to unfiltered, evil opinions on the internet!

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Reddit Bans r/pizzagate; CEO Censors Posts

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Social justice warrior hotbed Reddit banned the anti-child abuse Pizzagate sub-reddit this week. Reddit’s rape-faced CEO Steve Huffman, who posts under the screen name “spez”, was later caught altering posts critical of or mocking him. Reddit administrators have been silently editing posts, banning users, and shutting down sub-reddits for years for refusing to conform to the multicultural failure of the neoliberal social narrative and fellate the delusions of diversity and mediocrity.

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