Forteresse Announce Récits Patriotiques

by Daniel Maarat on February 6, 2017

French Canadian Gothenburg style metal band Forteresse announced a rehearsal album, Récits Patriotiques, today for all those who care about their boring Gothenburg material that sounds like early Amon Amarth with no tempo changes or variations for beer metallers who do not critically listen to music and prefer to just leave metal on in the background like a heavier version of smooth jazz they can ignore and check in on once every two minutes to see if the band did anything new or are back to scratching their asses. Récits Patriotiques will be released on March 18th, 2017 by Sepulchral Productions on 750 CDs for 750 fundergrounders or hipsters who want to crank frogified Davy Crockett metal to feel special about themselves like kale-flavored ice cream sandwiches. Preorder Récits Patriotiques here if you hate money and wear coonskin caps during sex.

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Trey Azagthoth’s Mom Mad Dave Vincent Formed Morbid Angel Cover Band

by Daniel Maarat on December 22, 2016

Former Morbid Angel frontman Evil Diamond Dave Vincent formed a Morbid Angel cover band, I Am Morbid, with the last Morbid Angel drummer, Tim Yueng, to tour South America with. Apparently the whole country music, honky tonk bar band schtick hasn’t been working out for Evil D. The transition from Necromonicon to NASCAR failed to bring fruit financial rewards.

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Darkthrone – Arctic Thunder (2016)

by Staff on December 21, 2016


Article by Lance Viggiano

Darkthrone have spent the records FOAD through The Underground Resistance regressing into their pre-Celtic Frost influences. Sensing their customers’ growing unpopularity with this black ‘n’ roll approach, Fenriz and Nocturno Culto try to save face on Artic Thunder by regressing into their own work. The upshot is that nobody but Miller Lite Throne can sell mediocre riffs in cyclical songs as well as these two. The downshift is that they cannot muster enough enthusiasm or energy to play their own ideas with the dedication of a devoted bar-tier cover band.

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Immolation Announce More Death Pop

by Daniel Maarat on December 20, 2016

Immolation announced a new album in their recent style of taking their own material and simplifying or parodying it down into pop rock for a beer swilling speed metal audience who eat up every new Metallica and Sodom record of randomly rehashed tunes. Atonement is the story of Cecilia (Keira Knightley) and Robbie’s (James McAvoy) life turning to hell when Briony, Cecilia’s bratty little sister, falsely accuses James McAvoy of rape. Cecilia and Robbie die horribly but Briony becomes a successful novelist. Ross Dolan insists that Keira Knightley did a great job wearing that green dress in Immolation’s best sounding release to date despite the fact that Dawn of Possession still exists and was recently reissued:

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Graveland’s 1050 Years of Pagan Cult Rerecordings Out Now

by Daniel Maarat on December 13, 2016

Graveland‘s 1050 Years of Pagan Cult rerecordings of Rob Darken’s greatest hits from the best of Graveland‘s black metal period is available now for download on Bandcamp. This release appears to be another rerecording for losers with iPhones who want to hear old songs with a modern, less necro production.

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Agoraphobic Nosebleed Hypocritical Yoga Pants

by Daniel Maarat on November 6, 2016

agoraphobic-nosebleed-yoga-pants

Social justice warrior metalcore (formerly comedy techno grind) band Agoraphobic Nosebleed offered ass-printed yoga pants for sale at recent festival performances such as the social justice warrior and communist run California Deathfest. Yes, this is the same Agoraphobic Nosebleed whose menstruating, undergrown screamo vocalist Kat Katz slammed Death Metal Underground as “If Fox News and Lambgoat had a baby.” and claimed “this dude totally has it out for women in metal… and women in general. Yup.” What hypocrisy and exploitation of their own idiotic fanbase from the leftist z-list deathcore band unable to promote themselves on the musical strength of their terrible recorded material.

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Incantation to release XXV compilation

by Gabe Kagan on March 11, 2016

When Incantation said they were working on a new album a bit back, they understandably were a bit tight-lipped about it. To tide us over until then, they’re releasing XXV, a small vinyl compilation that’s currently only officially available through the band’s website and is also being used to push a lot of merchandise. It contains one new track (“Obelisk Reflection”), as well as some rerecordings of previous Incantation songs, and some newish live versions to fill out the length of the LP. While the value of these is up for debate, this purchase may speed along the release of future content by Incantation. Or it might just encourage them to release more compilations.

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Sodom – Sacred Warpath (2014)

by Staff on January 23, 2016

sacred warpath

Article by Daniel Maarat

Sodom’s latest EP was ignored by the Death Metal Underground when it was originally released in late 2014 due to the more commercial nature of the band’s work over the past decade. After recruiting guitarist Bernd “Bernneman” Kost, Sodom abandoned their traditional black thrash style and adopted a more American speed metal, eighties Metallica and Megadeth oriented sound. Most of their new songs are rock structured, speed metal riff salads, peppered with occasional slowed-down extreme metal riffs.

Sacred Warpath is no different. The title track is the only new material and is strictly verse-chorus-verse. There is no melodic riff glue except for the verse riff variations. The chorus where Tom Angelripper snarls the name of the song in the song as a vocal hook like a line of dialogue from a cheesy action movie just serves as a way to repeat the verse verbatim to kill time. An acoustic interlude allusion to Agent Orange (“It’s like poetry; it rhymes.” – George Lucas) leads to a random speed metal solo for the Wacken whelps.

Following that speed metal drag, there are a few live songs nobody will ever listen to again: a cover of “Surfin’ Bird” (originally from M-16 in 2001) that leads into the fan favorite singalong “The Saw is the Law”, a generic Slayer-style song, and Sodom attempting Gothenburg melodeaf. These are here just to take this release from a 7” single and digital download to a 10” 33 ⅓ RPM EP and CD so Steamhammer can charge Sodomites more money. An underwhelming and mediocre cash-in, but the new song is less offensive than the Kill ‘em All “loving” on 2013’s Epitome of Torture.

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Iron Maiden working on their second video game

by Gabe Kagan on January 18, 2016

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Back in 1999, Iron Maiden released Ed Hunter, a greatest hits compilation that also included a video game of the same name. The game hasn’t aged well at all (and even in 1999, it was underwhelming). 17 years, though, have wrought enormous changes in the video gaming industries, and thusly, Iron Maiden’s second effort (at least, if you don’t count the minigame released for “Speed of Light”) is under development. Legacy of the Beast describes itself as “an epic free-to-play mobile role playing game, set in the expansive Iron Maiden universe,” and like any bandgame it understandably includes many songs from Iron Maiden’s career, as well as some live recordings that will remain exclusive to the game for some time. Little concrete information has been released on how this game will actually play, but a signup for a mailing list on the game’s webpage suggests upcoming information in the near future…

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