Death Metal Underground

Condor – Unstoppable Power (2017)

by Daniel Maarat on April 30, 2017

Readers can probably infer from the title, logo, and cover of Unstoppable Power that this Condor are not the Colombian heavy metal / progressive rock act. Norwegian Condor plays rocking speed metal similar to the Canadians Exciter and Razor. Riffing is primarily in the Motorhead influenced style of those two mixed with the chromatic, tremolo-picked styles of early Slayer. Leads are Slayerian noise bursts or imitations of Kirk Hammet. Norwegian Condor’s drumming is mostly crusty, background d-beating which lends the music some extreme percussive aggression not found in many 80s speeding oldies.

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6 Comments

Tags: 2017, beer metal, condor, norway, review, Speed Metal, unstoppable power

Midnight – Shox of Violence (2017)

by Daniel Maarat on April 29, 2017

Midnight are the definition of beer metal. Midnight sound like Motorhead if Motorhead accidentally took tranquilizers and forgot to write chord progressions and progressive minor-key heavy metal leads in their songs. Midnight are Motorhead if when Lemmy got arrested for drug possession in Canada in the early seventies while touring with Hawkwind, Lemmy did not merely get kicked out of Hawkwind and deported back to the United Kingdom; Midnight are Motorhead if the Canadians were really the Soviets who institutionalized and lobotomized Lemmy while forcing him at gunpoint to cart around a potent IV drip of anti-psychotics and sedatives for the rest of his life.

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14 Comments

Tags: 2017, beer metal, cash grab, EP, Heavy Metal, hells headbangers, midnight, review, shox of violence, Speed Metal, thrash metal

Sadistic Metal Reviews: Flush ‘Em All

by Staff on April 8, 2017

Blood must be shed to atone for the sins of these mostly horrific recordings. Every single person who thought releasing these was a great idea should attempt to give themselves a self-swirlie while under the influence. Banging their head on the porcelain toilet tank lid will knock some sense into them or crack their skulls open. Hopefully the latter.

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35 Comments

Tags: acod, AIDS, beer metal, black 'n roll, carpatus, ctulu, cvinger, deathcore, ethmebb, hyperion, kforkill, krampus, maldoror, mustan kuun lapset, nyktophobia, orwellian, quintessenz, raise the black, sadistic metal reviews, sail, servus, starlit woods, viles vitae, wormhole

ZOM – Flesh Assimilation (2014)

by Staff on March 25, 2017

Article by Lance Viggiano.

ZOM is essentially a crust band who starched by a discordant boondock black metal sensibility resulting in parlor tunes to cap off a hard day picking potatoes. Neither being soaked in rye nor smoked out on Dublin can make this release stand out in the fields of barley. The riffs aren’t worth paying attention to and as background music it is simply too assertive so it tends to pinch you if your mood isn’t wearing the right color.

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3 Comments

Tags: 2014, beer metal, Black Metal, crust, Crust Punk, crustcore, dark descent, dark descent records, flesh assimilation, funderground, Invictus Productions, ireland, noise, zom

Sadistic Metal Reviews: 3-21-2017

by Daniel Maarat on March 21, 2017

Some bands have promise; these have veered off the road and are currently charring in a gasoline fire. Will they crawl out? Let’s find out!

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44 Comments

Tags: Ascended Dead, barrow wight, beer metal, black 'n roll, black magick ss, chain, eternity's end, hetroertzen, hipster bullshit, nan elmoth, pop, sacrificial massacre, sadistic metal reviews, trends mosh core fun, tuman, tymah, Туман

Lucky Charms Metal

by Daniel Maarat on March 14, 2017

Death Metal Underground has received criticism for our review of limp-wristed, warmed-over Swedish heavy metal act In Flames. Our staff called them the Swedish version of Christian glam rock band Stryper. However despite being hard rock, Stryper were actually heavier, more sincere in purpose, and more aggressive than the Comic Sans In Flames. Stryper and the speed metal influenced glam rock of Skid Row were at least far more musical than Fredrik Nordstrom produced melodeaf such as post-Alf Svensson At the Gates, Arch Enemy, Dark Tranquility, In Flames, and Soilwork. Stryper and Skid Row were at least well-versed in 60s and 70s riff rock while directly influenced by Metallica and Slayer:

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37 Comments

Tags: beer metal, Bill Steer, Bolt Thrower, butt rock, carcass, frank blackfire, fredrik nordstrom, glam rock, gothenburg metal, hard rock, Heavy Metal, idiots, in flames, junk food, kreator, melodeaf, skid row, stryper, Surgical Steel, those once loyal

Forteresse Announce Récits Patriotiques

by Daniel Maarat on February 6, 2017

French Canadian Gothenburg style metal band Forteresse announced a rehearsal album, Récits Patriotiques, today for all those who care about their boring Gothenburg material that sounds like early Amon Amarth with no tempo changes or variations for beer metallers who do not critically listen to music and prefer to just leave metal on in the background like a heavier version of smooth jazz they can ignore and check in on once every two minutes to see if the band did anything new or are back to scratching their asses. Récits Patriotiques will be released on March 18th, 2017 by Sepulchral Productions on 750 CDs for 750 fundergrounders or hipsters who want to crank frogified Davy Crockett metal to feel special about themselves like kale-flavored ice cream sandwiches. Preorder Récits Patriotiques here if you hate money and wear coonskin caps during sex.

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5 Comments

Tags: beer metal, Black Metal, canada, cash grab, elevator music, Forteresse, funderground, gothenburg metal, Heavy Metal, nationalism, quebec, Québécois, rehearsal, sepulchral productions, upcoming release

Darkthrone – Arctic Thunder (2016)

by Staff on December 21, 2016

Article by Lance Viggiano

Darkthrone have spent the records FOAD through The Underground Resistance regressing into their pre-Celtic Frost influences. Sensing their customers’ growing unpopularity with this black ‘n’ roll approach, Fenriz and Nocturno Culto try to save face on Artic Thunder by regressing into their own work. The upshot is that nobody but Miller Lite Throne can sell mediocre riffs in cyclical songs as well as these two. The downshift is that they cannot muster enough enthusiasm or energy to play their own ideas with the dedication of a devoted bar-tier cover band.

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29 Comments

Tags: Arctic Thunder, beer metal, Black Metal, boring, cash grab, darkthrone, peaceville, peaceville records, review

Immolation Announce More Death Pop

by Daniel Maarat on December 20, 2016

Immolation announced a new album in their recent style of taking their own material and simplifying or parodying it down into pop rock for a beer swilling speed metal audience who eat up every new Metallica and Sodom record of randomly rehashed tunes. Atonement is the story of Cecilia (Keira Knightley) and Robbie’s (James McAvoy) life turning to hell when Briony, Cecilia’s bratty little sister, falsely accuses James McAvoy of rape. Cecilia and Robbie die horribly but Briony becomes a successful novelist. Ross Dolan insists that Keira Knightley did a great job wearing that green dress in Immolation’s best sounding release to date despite the fact that Dawn of Possession still exists and was recently reissued:

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15 Comments

Tags: atonement, beer metal, cash grab, immolation, nuclear blast records, pop metal, Speed Metal, upcoming release

Ossuary Insane – Possession Of The Flesh (2016)

by Staff on October 22, 2016

Article by Lance Viggiano.

A few years ago a mallcore band named Waking the Harbinger posted demo tracks on Metal Archives. The music was assailed by regulars whose corrective actions coerced the young upstarts into adopting a formulaic approach to Malevolent Creation and Cannibal Corpse tier artistry. Ossuary Insane play relentlessly empty upgraded pizza parlor speed metal with all the bells and whistles of intensity innovated by that movement within the metal tradition.

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5 Comments

Tags: anthology, beer metal, Blood Harvest, funderground, modern metal, ossuary insane, pizza thrash, possession of the flesh, review, Speed Metal

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