#MetalGate: The MetalSucks Manifesto

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Nu-metal and metalcore website MetalSucks posted the “The MetalSucks Manifesto” today, reaffirming their stance as communist social justice warriors. Donald Trump’s triumph in the 2016 United States presidential election apparently did not dishearten their leftist delusions. A neighbor to the MetalSucks headquarters in Axl Rosenberg’s Brooklyn tenement apartment has revealed exclusive insider information to Death Metal Underground about the activities of the MetalSucks politburo of Axl Rosenberg, Vince Neilstein, and Emperor Rhombus during the week following Trump’s victory.

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Twitter Censors Alt-Right Accounts

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Twitter has begun to suspend the accounts of several prominent members of the alternative right movement according to the BBC. Twitter closed the accounts for not conforming to the leftist narrative of social liberation of supposedly oppressed but legally favored in actuality peoples.

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#Metalgate: Metal-Archives Exiles Trump Voters

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Metal-Archives founder and avowed social justice warrior Morrigan Stark has started banning users whose posts she views as political incorrect. Trump supporters and general skeptics of modern liberalism’s identity politics are a threat to her imagined metallic fantasy world’s safe space / socialist worker’s paradise. Internet anti-censorship advocate and anime fangame proponent “Clownpiece x Trump” compiled these screenshots on his Libertarian2 Twitter feed:

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SJWs Whine about Trump’s Triumph

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The social justice warrior punk scene parasites attempting to infiltrate metal and censor it according to their visions of social realism in their ideal future multicultural socialist workers paradise like Venezuela have been whining over the defeat of Hillary Clinton by Donald Trump in the Americen presidential elections this week. The American populace decisively shot down the leftist attempts to create a new world order and now the unemployable are rioting in the streets demanding that Trump be impeached as Hillary won the popular vote. Want to know what prominent crusts attempting to infiltrate heavy metal think about Trump’s triumph? Let’s find out!

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Martire – Martire (1991)

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As the continent was before Britannic penal colonization, Australian black and death metal scene was and is still mostly an undeveloped desert of unexceptional crossover thrash posturing as “war metal”, blackened cheeseball beer metal, AC/DC clones with unclean vocals, and experimental technical deaf metal/post-hardcore/jazz fusion hybrids. Martire rode forth from obscurity to restore fruit and flower to the wasteland, fertilizing the barren bush wielding fire and sword.

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Degtyarov Disses Death Metal Underground

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Ignyaz Degtyarov of “flowing black metal” and folk “metal” website and zine Black Ivory Tower slammed and parodied Death Metal Underground for Lance Viggiano’s negative Sadistic Metal Review of Condor’s recently released inferior third album, Sangreal. Apparently reviews of metal records evaluating the actual music behind the recording when compared to the works of past greats is autistic to Degtyarov, who only judges metal by how well it conforms to his Slavic nationalist Weltanschauung. Lance Viggiano speculating that a Black Ivory Tower contributor writing an ultimately boring upon repeated listening album due to chugging wine coolers and wearing The Rocky Horror Picture Show makeup like Sentence of Death era Destruction wounded what appears to be quite a fragile ego.

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