Sadistic Metal Reviews: Forever January 6, 2020 Edition

It is now painfully clear that modern society has entered its endgame. Our agricultural miracle based on fossil fuels has reversed itself, no one trusts the sham elections, intelligent people are not reproducing, our infrastructure has rotted, technological development has stalled, most people have gone insane, and hope-cope has replaced solid thinking as we try to rationalize the decline.

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Smoking Outside the Box

They always tell you to “think outside the box,” as if having everyone focused on non-conformity will result in anything but a new variety of conformity. So much of life comes back to the mirror image, where we are staring at a representation of ourselves, and trying to change how it looks, despite everything happening in reverse since left is right and right left.

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Horror Pain Gore Death – Death Metal Power From Beyond (2021)

In addition to tape trading, compilation albums back in the day allowed a label to sell you one track from each of its most promising bands for a few dollars total, making them both a good way to find new bands and a cross between the mix tape and a radio show when you wanted varied listening.

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Has Speed Metal Finally Become Assimilated?

From the flood of nonsense going through the news feeds, a sign that speed metal has gone mainstream:

A woman in New Zealand, refusing to bring another Mackenzie or Jack into the world, has named her three kids “Metallica,” “Pantera,” and “Slayer.”

Farrier reached out to New Zealand’s Registrar-General to inquire as to whether “there are any restrictions naming babies after band names, or albums.” He was told that there aren’t, “as long as the word used is not generally considered to be offensive or does not resemble an official rank or title.” This may rule out naming a baby after one of your favorite grindcore acts, but it did allow Farrier to verify the fact that Baby Metallica’s middle name is also—we’re not kidding—“And Justice For All.”

These kids will either have the best or absolute worst time in school, depending primarily on whether ‘80s thrash is currently cool with the youth—and whether lil’ Metallica has to deal with terrible classmates like “Napster” and “Decent Snare Drum Mixing.”

After nu-metal introduced chunky monkey riffs and gargled horse semen vocals to mainstream audiences, the percussive fast strumming riffs of Metallica, Overkill, Testament, Megadeth, Exodus, Anthrax, and their derivates (Pantera) probably seem tame, as do the later Slayer albums built around bouncy riffs and plaintively angry vocals.

When even Alex Jones uses Metallica songs for his interstitial music, and nostalgia for the 1980s and 1990s has overwhelmed a Western Civilization looking at the post-Clinton neo-Communist NWO disaster at the same time that people are seeking music from a mentally less muddled time, speed metal has become the archetype of all heavy metal, and therefore, has been easily assimilated by industry and mass culture.

Perhaps this explains why so many of the original death metal and black metal bands chose proudly to be underground, figuring that a few years of musical and artistic honesty would beat out becoming a careerist in a corrupt industry only to morph into Dad Rock as their fans aged into complacent suburban wage-serfdom.

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Under A Banner Black As Blood – Under A Banner Black As Blood (2021)

Genres flowered with technology, differentiated themselves, and starting in the 1990s with basically all variants known, the music industry began focusing on mash-ups and re-mixes, sometimes producing interesting results but not really new genres. This release mashes up martial industrial, dungeon synth, and something like darkwave or the farther edges of electronic body music.

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