Megadriver – Metalvania (2017)

by Robert de Sandford on April 13, 2018

Few things in life are more masculine than Castlevania.  In fact, the New York Times bestselling book The Alphabet of Manliness includes on its short list of “definitive winners in history” the likes of Castlevania 1-4 and Symphony of the Night.  Castlevania is also the most metal non-metal piece of Western creativity outside of Lord of the Rings.  I mean shit, you’re out crusading and fucking up demons and monsters on behalf of the church, shoving crucifixes up asses and drowning degeneracy in holy water.   It’s exactly the kind of shit that true metalhead Hessians and Templars should be doing to SJW the soy metal mutants infesting the underground in incredibly large numbers (who can be open-endedly interpreted to be the grotesque villains of Castlevania lore).  DEUS VULT- butcher and savage them all!  Even those who think video games are gay (most of them are) can appreciate how based Castlevania is.
(more…)

20 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Soymetal Dies As True Metal Rises

by Brett Stevens on April 9, 2018

As predicted here, the takeover of underground metal by late hardcore tinged substitutes has failed. This music, which we might call “soymetal” because it appeals more to the emo hardcore audience than the feral and realistic traditional metal one, took over because after the underground fizzled in the hands of NWN/FMP impersonators, labels found a new audience in whiny millennial SJWs. (more…)

11 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Pushback Against SJW Invasion Of Metal Begins With Anti-Metalsucks Campaign

by Brett Stevens on April 7, 2018

Sometimes recognizing parasites becomes difficult. They sidle up to your genre, think that is fairly cool and they want a piece of that action, and then they morph themselves into clones of the fans of that genre. Then they shlurp their way inside of its cell walls, consume its vital energy, and inject their DNA into its core, replacing all that made it unique and meaningful. (more…)

24 Comments

Tags: , , , ,

Violent Opposition – Utopia Dystopia

by Joe Slater on March 27, 2018

This is the awesome grindcore band from Berkeley that predicted sport rioting would totally take off after the election. They are the post nuclear hippie van version of early Napalm Death. The new album opens with a totally awesome grindcore song called Controlled Opposition, which has a series of jagged hammer-on type riffs, followed by a brief rock riff at the end. Everything is crypto now, so let’s get paranoid!

(more…)

9 Comments

VIKING BLOOD

by Staff on March 17, 2018

Heritage, ethnicity, race, and culture is important because there is much you can learn about yourself from your blood ancestors.  For years I never understood why, as an Irishman, I was always fascinated with Scandanavian history and culture until a distant relative traced my family’s heritage all the way back to the 10th century.  It was upon learning of my distant relationship to Tomrair mac Ailchi, the viking king of Dublin, that I learned the truth of my savage tendencies- I was the decadent of vikings.  And perhaps it explains how, thousands of years later, I would serve as an editor of the most brutal metal website on the internet…
(more…)

23 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Judas Priest – Firepower (2018)

by Brett Stevens on March 15, 2018

Judas Priest came from that intermediate stage between proto-metal and hard rock that emphasized really intense conclusions to compelling but basic riffs, and with Firepower, the band returns to form by delivering those moments of ritual ascension in which the foot-stomping, hand-flinging, and head-thrashing impulses join a sense of profundity through consilience as each track comes together.

(more…)

26 Comments

Tags: , ,

SUFFOCATION’S BASTARD CHILDREN

by Nicholas Vahdias on March 14, 2018

Some bands perfectly encapsulate a sound and an era through the appropriation and development of an existing idea. Van Halen fascinated the mainstream with his take on tapping and his twist on virtuosity which had existed for centuries on various string instruments. Iron maiden took the harmonies from Thin Lizzy and adapted them for their long narrative epics. Suffocation took the slow thrash metal staccato riff and completely changed its use by using them as breakdowns. While those three bands are heavily associated with their respective techniques that have been used by all sorts of bands, Suffocation has spawned multiple subgenres that are all terrible and are completely eluded by the original intention.

(more…)

13 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Endless War : The Similarities Between Metal and Wrestling

by Nicholas Vahdias on March 9, 2018

 

Wrestling is the oldest sport in existence. One can find it in any culture on earth, Egyptian hieroglyphs depict various techniques, Islam recognizes it as one of the main sports for preparation in combat and European knights trained extensively as a lot of armored fights quickly become tests of who could pin who to be able to deal a finishing blow with a dagger through the gaps in the plate armor. Throughout the years wrestling has proven to be the best art for all forms of combat as every region in the world has at least one form of indigenous wrestling.

(more…)

29 Comments

Tags: , , , , , ,

/smr/ SADISTIC METAL REVIEWS: THE LEFT CAN’T METAL EDITION

by Nicholas Vahdias on March 5, 2018

Failed journalist and domestic terrorist Kim Kelly is rumored to have been the one who organized the venue boycotts of the Taake tour.  As many are unfortunately aware, she is the bunk face of the progressive leftist metal movement but clearly does not understand the music enough for anyone to take her seriously. Let’s ignore her N.S.B.M./racist praising past, flavor of the week ideology, and grotesque physical defects and spend some time with the terrible music she is promoting to determine it has anything to do with what metal actually is.

(more…)

23 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Classic reviews:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z