Sadistic Metal Reviews (07/04/16)

it_will_tear_your_head_off

Why write bad reviews at all? Good music is rare, and bad is everywhere, but if you do not explicitly identify the failings of bad, most people will find it appealing because it does not interrupt their steady stream of self-centered thoughts and is easier than seeking good. If you like good music and want more of it, you must bash as well as praise, as Machiavelli would tell you. And with that, the latest installment of the Sadistic Metal Reviews

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Taste the Rainbow!

rainbow shit

Coming soon to a used CD bin near you!

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#MetalGate: Fornicator Prevented From Opening for Profanatica in Seattle After SJW Nagging

profanatica fornicator seattle gig flyer

Brutal deathgrind band Fornicator was prevented from opening for Profanatica and Demoncy in Seattle last Sunday by the venue due to social justice warriors nagging. The Highline Bar received complaints from crusty SJWs who felt that their “safe space” inside the bar was being violated due to Fornicator’s incomprehensible lyrics.

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#MetalGate: Bestial Evil Reunite For All Three of Their Fans and Lovers

bestial evil's fans

Shawn Wright and what remains of Baltimore social justice warrior crustcore band Bestial Evil USA have apparently decided to reunite according to their Fuckbook page:

So after much thought on behalf of Myself, Nicky T and the Fans, WE have decided we are not done. We have put too much into this. All of you that wanna slander bring it! We return with an all new line-up! \m/ that’s right!!!!!

Bestial Evil have reunited for all three people who thought that Infectious Cross was a commendable work of antifascist, genderfluid propaganda. Only three as the redheaded furry on the right wandered in drunk from the Baltimore Comic-Con thinking the Sidebar was a Chuck E. Cheese. He was disappointed that even though Bestial Evil claim to be bisexual, no band member would put on the cowsuit and reem his rectum with the cryogenic feces. Now that token black “bi-sexual” (sic) guitarist Kevin Rucker‘s two foot long, “ritual fecal phalli” are gone, how will Bestial Evil possibly attract the coprophiliac crust punks yearning for authentic black shit out of a black-skinned man?

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#MetalGate: Bestial Evil (US) Disintegrates As Former Guitarist Kevin Rucker Explodes In Racist And Homophobic Rant

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Mediocre and uninventive Baltimore death/crust band Bestial Evil (US) has left us, according to Facebook posts by its former guitarist and token African-American, Kevin Rucker. In his final statement, he goes off on a racist and homophobic rant which ends by telling the audience to “Eat some dicks.”

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#Metalgate: Bestial Evil Throws in the Towel

Bestial Evil's restaurant bathroom

Baltimore-based social justice warrior crustcore band Bestial Evil USA have finally stopped attempting to play metal music claiming “…we are done being slandered and we’re done being associated with hate shit.”

Hello to friends and fans…

Bestial Evil has ended its reign.

Thanks for the support over the years.

Bestial Evil’s reign over their graffiti and needle-ridden back alley came to an end when the chef fired them for taking too many cigarette breaks in-between busing tables. Good riddance.

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