Sadistic Metal Reviews 1-22-2017

Everything you love is eventually butchered, emulsified, digested, and squeezed out by lesser life forms ranging from head hunters to bacterium to mediocre metal bands. Here are some Sadistic Metal Reviews for our readers’ pleasure:

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Emperor: Metal for Mordor

The music of Emperor is commonly misconceived by the mainstream metal media and certain YouTube clowns to be merely an atmospheric wall of sound or symphonic black metal orchestration engineered for superficial, surface level aesthetic appeal to an audience atypical for black metal. This is in fact not the case. In the Nightside Eclipse is just as perplexing to typical headbangers on first encounter as it was upon release in 1994. Mainstream audiences are even more flabbergasted and regard the record as a mere curiosity produced by those murderous church burners, preferring Emperor’s more rock-structured later work such as Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk, which abandoned the band’s signature riffing style and method in exchange for ones influenced by more stereotypical Norwegian B-listers such as Enslaved and Kvist. Emperor did eventually sell out, becoming technical guitar wank, rock-structured heavy metal after their rhythm guitarist Samoth and drummer Faust were imprisoned in 1994 and their songwriting influence subsequently waned. Yet In the Nightside Eclipse‘s hymns to Satan and Sauron remain as natural mutations of their metallic predecessors’ attempts to imitate horror scores and classical music’s overwhelming power of sublimity.

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La Naranja Metálica Online Radio Show

Spanish language black metal webzine El Negro Metal has started hosting a downloadable monthly online radio show/podcast called La Naranja Metálica, which I have been told is a play on A Clockwork Orange‘s Spanish title La Naranja Mecánica. Most of the tracks being spun are from releases that Death Metal Underground and The Dark Legions Archive have endorsed in the past with many appearing on our recent best of lists. Hopefully La Naranja Metálica will help bring the best of the underground to a Spanish-speaking audience.

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#Metalgate: Kim Kelly Endorses White Genocide

Crustfund social justice warrior, hypocrite, alleged groupie, liar, and Vice columnist Kim Kelly openly supported white genocide on Twitter late last month. She gave her “total support” to Drexel university associate professor George Ciccariello-Maher who publicly wished for a white genocide as a gift last Christmas on Twitter and slammed his critics as “white supremacists”. He followed up his initial lust for ethnic cleansing of his own race with another tweet stating:

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The Best Underground Metal of 2016

2016 is over. The funderground mentality continued spreading forth, infesting metal over the last year just the same as it had in the decades past the genre’s artistic high-point in the early nineties. Rehashes of past greats pandering to a lowest common denominator audience continue to dominate the release schedules of metal labels all too willing to please the lemmings with music fit to safely ignore during drunken socializing. Ever-flowing streams of posers are desperate to be rock stars, pumping out plagiarism, and paying their way to record deals. File sharing and streaming reducing the cost of hearing new music to essentially nothing has led fans to constantly consume whatever is new regardless of quality. However the purging is at last at hand. The day of doom is here. The filth who have lied and corrupted the underground must be cleansed while the commendable elite few will remain.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Catch of the Day

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: But Wait, There’s More!

More Sadistic Metal Reviews? Yes, yes, yes!

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Just Shoot Them

Guns get the job done.

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