Sadistic Metal Reviews: Halfway Through 2017 Hammer Farts


Sadistic reviews by Linus Douglas.

Sadly apart from Sammath, some other Dutch metal, and reissues, Hammerheart Records appears to publish many moronic releases produced by poor excuses for neurons in hopes of flooding shelves like every other larger metal label.

(more…)

10 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kerry King’s Favorite Metal Albums

Slayer‘s Kerry King dished out his top ten favorite metal albums to Rolling Stone as part of the geriatric soft rock magazine’s imbecilic Top 100 Metal Albums list.

(more…)

9 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Septicflesh Spurt Out Metalcore

Septicflesh, a bunch of Greek cyber crusts with Klingon facial hair who wear rubber suits like villains on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, released two new preview tracks from their upcoming album that will of course be awful, Codex Omega, which comes out I don’t know when and I don’t care who is releasing and you should not care either and should listen to DarkthroneSoulside Journey or something instead as even checking out these two tracks is a waste of your precious little time on Earth.

(more…)

10 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Where The Metal Ends

In reply to Jerry Hauppa.

Music that is popular is dead in general due to commoditization, poseurs, the ivory tower, and the music industry’s collapsed spurred by their own awful business practices and the CD bubble. CDs were a massive cash influx as the first digital format but the major labels kept the price artificially high, killed the single, and tried to force consumers to buy popular music albums with one to three catchy but disposable hits and the rest boring filler to outright crap. As soon as consumers could easily hear the hitsasany times as they wanted until they hated them without paying, they did.

For metal, most of the bands that stayed in the underground, that is those who couldn’t get any record deal and release anything back when the industry was still kicking in the 90s, weren’t good enough to even write three good tracks. Now, the fundergrounders hold these guys up and the labels that sign them to sell a few thousand copies like Dark Descent, Nuclear War Now!, and Iron Bonehead as actually as good as the metal bands from back in the day as they are stupid.

Anyone with a working brain who likes metal can tell that Horrendous, Bolzer, Intolitarian and Blood Incantation suck animal penis compared to Destruction, Deicide, Demigod, Dismember, you name it. The brain dead audience raised on commercial jingles, videogames, and cartoon theme songs can’t tell the difference as they never really listened to music and just claim to “like” metal as metal used to be underground and cool and they like the aesthetics and imagery like Kim Kardashian does. This makes them posers and the few underground bands actually making exceptional music like Sammath, Gridlink, and Desecresy are pretty much just ignored compared to everyone who is Terrorizer/In Flames for Retards as they can’t tell the difference between Celtic Frost and the Mortal Kombat the movie soundtrack.

No Comments

Tags: , ,

Sadistic Metal Reviews: Fargo of July

(more…)

15 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lars Ulrich Reveals Influences in List of His Favorite Metal & Rock Albums

Lars Ulrich revealed his fifteen favorite heavy metal and hard rock albums to Rolling Stone magazine as part of Rolling Stone’s list of their 100 favorite metal albums.

(more…)

4 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ihsahn: “What I do now is musically still black metal.”

Ihsahn is recording his upcoming solo album right now in Norway according to Blabbermouth. Furthermore Ihsahn believes that black metal is not a specific type of heavy metal music but rather a mind set and that the random progressive rock and jazzy instrumental masturbation Ihsahn performs now is still actually “black metal” despite not even being metal music to begin with, yet alone black metal.

(more…)

62 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Classic reviews:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z