Tags: 2018, Bandcamp metal, esoteric malacology, mediocrity, metal, slugdge, slugs, superficial aesthetics
Hoth – Astral Necromancy (single) (2018)
Boy howdy gang, today we get to listen to the lead single from an upcoming album by a Star-Wars themed American black metal band! Let us buckle our bullet belts and get to it!
Some Thoughts on Nature
I enjoy camping. Solitude. Enjoying primitive conditions. Witnessing the power and beauty of nature. It helps one keep a good Hessian frame of mind. I try to go as often as is possible and there is one location near me that I frequent rather often. After a bit of a drive over old logging roads through the hills I stop and pull my car off the side of the road and put on my pack and get my rifle at port arms. To get to my favoured camping area it is a 5 mile hike that for a short while follows an abandoned narrow-gauge railroad that some logging company built to expedite the extraction of resources from the area many years back. The place I like to set up camp is a tiny, elevated clearing in the pine trees next to a small creek from which I can get water. The area is a temperate rain forest of sorts, so there are 3-6 foot tall ferns everywhere, and in old-growth areas that have not fallen prey to logging, you can see the triple-canopy growth that is common to all rain forests. However, most of the forests around have been logged at some point so this sight is rare. I use a small shovel or a machete to clear out the ferns so I have a nice place to build a camp fire and an area to lay out my sleeping bag. The chopped down ferns double as a nice mattress.
7 CommentsNorway’s Wordless Abyss
Studies have shown that listening to instrumental music while writing, studying, doing accounting, or any other productive task can increase stimulation without the distraction that the words of vocals provide. But for Hessian, Templar, Heathen and other true metalheads instrumental works can be difficult to come by as extreme metal has not dabbled much into the realms of instrumental savagery. But thanks to the necrophiliac obsession that many have had with Norwegian black metal and its culture, there are a few enjoyable demos and early rehearsals from Norway’s finest that can provide a motivational grim instrumental experience without demanding too much from the attention of the listener.
Join me if you will for a vocal-less adventure through some of Norway’s best kept foreboding hidden secrets.
2 CommentsTags: 1990s, Black Metal, Blackthorn, burzum, darkthrone, death metal, demo, Euronymous, Grymyrk, hellhammer, instrumental metal, low fidelity, mayhem, norway, Norwegian Black Metal, rehearsal tapes, Thorns, varg vikernes
Antestor Re-Release of Return of the Black Death Out Today!
Fuck yes! Legendary Norwegian black metal band Antestor have re-released their timeless classic Return of the Black Death via the Nordic Mission label. If you’re too much of a sodomite pussy to know, this album was the best release (and probably only good one) on the famed Cacophonous Records, who gave us the earliest works of Cradle of Filth and Dimmu Borgir- those fucking scumbags! This album was also the precursor to the depressive/suicidal black metal genre that immediately became gay when Xasthur first put on his little makeup kit and started doing blek majick. Yeah, I bet you thought Sortsind and Burzum started that shit-NOPE! It was all a second rate ripoff of Antestor’s sorrow metal!
25 CommentsTags: 90s metal, Antestor, Cacophonous Records, cradle of filth, Deus Vult, dimmu borgir, Kongsblod, Neil Harding, Norwegian Black Metal, Return of the Black Death, sorrow metal, Templars, unblack metal
Goath – II: Opposition
Great Goath! First impression is, this new output from Goath is pretty darn good. The artwork seems excellent. Some of their other releases didn’t quite do it for me, but this one hits the spot. There is a nice mix of basic time signature riffs. The main thing is that the high level of aggression in all the instruments and vocals works on this one, whereas the other stuff I heard before was boring and lower pitched, like war metal kinda, with some Deicide. The whole thing sounds really old school underground, not aiming for total show-off or the best production, but instead going for authenticity and aggressiveness.
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Tags: 2018, brutal, deaht metal, goath, heavy, metal, old ways
The Musician’s Guide to SJW Values
Metal, like punk, once a lawless wild west where no attitude or ideology was unwelcome or too extreme. But after hipsters unifed the masses of 90’s counter cultures into one mainstream culture, a far left ideology was adopted by and heavily policed within nearly every sub/counter cultural music genre (metal included). Despite this being the exact opposite of what metal has been about for many decades, the desperation to fit in has left many of the aging neckbeard social outcast fake metalheads to adopt this heinous bastardization of music’s most honest genre and collectively enforce these new mainstream social rules. And just like in the mainstream culture of today, breaking any of these rules (or having broken them in the past before these social norms were instituted) is designated with a swift lifetime band from showing yourself in public in the U.S.
Lately, a lot of metal bands have been getting in trouble for doing things that progressive liberal culture finds unacceptable. Many bands have been confused by the rules, as progressive liberal logic is absolutely nonsensical, and therefore musicians struggle with the details behind this new social paradigm. Having fought the left in our culture war for several years now and being often confronted with these nutcases, I determined it would be in the best interest of metal’s very badass musicians understand what crimes and behaviors are okay. Please find below, a very thoroughly researched look into the disturbed mind of Social Justice Warriors:
Chart 1: Individual’s Morality
Crime/Behavior Acceptable?
MURDER YES
ASSAULT (MALE VICTIM) YES
ASSAULT (FEMALE VICTIM) NO (Unless you’re signed to Profound Lore)
THEFT YES
BESTIALITY YES
PEDOPHILIA NO (Unless you write for MetalSucks)
GRAVE ROBBERY YES
SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT MEN YES
SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT WOMEN NO (Unless you write for MetalSucks)
SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT WHITES YES
SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT ANY OTHER RACE NO (Unless you’re signed to Profound Lore)
SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT CHRISTIANS YES
SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT ANY OTHER RELIGION NO
SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT LGTBTQ NO
11 Comments
Tags: counter culture, idiocy, illogical, low iq, metal, metal culture, MetalSucks, morality, nonsensical, Profound Lore Records, progressive liberals, punk culture, sjws, social justice warriors
Nightworld (2017)
At the final level, every object or idea in our world becomes reduced to a single line said in passing between people. This usually consists of a quality assessment plus a scope, such as, “The FIAT 500 is a great car for driving between your garage and a repair shop.”
If we were to do this for Nightworld, a movie featuring the charismatic Robert Englund of Freddy Krueger fame, our summary would be, “It is a good first chapter for a horror novel.” (more…)
12 CommentsTags: Horror, metaphysical horror, movie reviews, mystical horror, nightworld, real estate horror, robert englund, supernatural horror
Analysis of Demilich’s “When the Sun Drank the Weight of Water”
[Sections of this article by Jerry Hauppa].
The Finnish scene has spawned an impressive number of death metal giants, possibly the strongest overall scene with no band searching for shallow fame or popularity and each band exploring their own sound in complete artistic integrity and more often than not achieving powerful results. Though all these bands have captured the hearts and the imaginations of Hessians everywhere, one four-piece has managed to completely change the face of death metal. Releasing one album that elevated metal into being recognized as an intellectual genre in the eyes of the mainstream, so much so that the mainstream metal media fled from this album as no one could commercialize and democratize what was being played here, Demilich were unfairly pushed back into the underground when they deserved adoration from the masses.
14 CommentsTags: analysis, analysis article, death metal, Demilich, Finnish Death Metal, Finnish death metal was the pinnacle of metal, hessians, legends, music theory, nespithe, odd time signatures
Le berceau de Satan – Porteur de lumiere (2017)
Ahhh, Canada, America’s hat. And then there is Quebec, Canada’s ass-neck. Today’s band, Le berceau de Satan (Cradle of Satan) hails from the beautiful town of Sanguenay, Quebec. Looking at some pictures of the town and area, one would think that there is ample natural inspiration for an atmospheric black metal band. However, in the case of Porteur de lumiere (Bringer of Light), released this March, this is clearly not the case.
In honour of the confused, mish-mash presentation of the album, I will now present my review in the form of stream of consciousness.
15 CommentsTags: 2017, Black Metal, canada, Le berceau de Satan, leaf metal, shitty music