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DEATH METAL GENERAL: I DON’T NEED ABBATH EDITION

by Brock Dorsey on January 10, 2018

Immortal is back! Well… sort of. Halfway there. Right? In name at least?

You see, Demonaz- Immortal’s original guitarist during the 90’s, lyricist during the 2000’s, and now vocalist/guitarist and lyricist in the 2010s- is back with drummer-on-some-albums skinsman Horgh. Wait, actually, the two have only played together on one album (out of twelve) so can they really “be back?” Anyway, Demonaz and Horgh have out-lawyered the band’s drugged out drunken cornerstone musician Abbath, who played every instrument except for guitar when Demonaz was in the band and then played guitar over 9000 times better than Demonaz once the latter got a case of tendentious. With the name locked down and a healthy Nuclear Blast Records budget, the duo get ready to make a seriously play for the wallets of misguided fans.

But wait, the tendentious that crippled him for a decade is suddenly gone? Can he still pick at the rediculous guitar tempos of Blizzard Beasts? Can he even play at all? There’s a lot to unpack in this one, so let’s get trolling as we recap the story of the band who turned black metal’s creepy aesthetics into the hair metal of the 90s…
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Tags: 2018, abbath, agent orange, Black Metal, Blashyrkh, Blizzard Beasts, cash grab, death metal general, Demonaz, emperor, grim and cold, grim and frostbitten, grim and nipply, holograms, horgh, immortal, lawyers, metal, mortiis, new album, news, Obsessed by Cruelty, sellout, sodom

Poverty is the Price for Metal Stardom

by Brock Dorsey on January 8, 2018

The Talk:

Every metal musician needs to have “The Talk” at some point or another and for some of you, this will be that moment. In the world of metal, “The Talk” is the soul crashing, dream obliterating conversation where one learns the valuable lesson that you can’t get rich playing extreme metal. It’s heartbreaking and defeating but better learned sooner than later. And since a young ambitious musician isn’t necessarily considering the logistics, lifestyle goals, etc. of their future before they drill on that pentagram neck tattoo, I want to make sure readers of DMU are abundantly clear on what to expect on the financial front when engaging in life as a touring musician.
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33 Comments

Tags: At the Gates, Black Metal, cannibal corpse, children of bodom, cradle of filth, dark tranquility, death metal, economics, gorgoroth, immolation, mayhem, metal, motorhead, music business, music industry, necrophagist, poverty, Thy Art is Murder, truth, watain, wealth, whitechapel

Death Metal General- Day of the Rake Edition

by Brock Dorsey on January 5, 2018

The thankfully short lived Canadian metal scene was another low in the attempt to blend death metal with tough-guy hardcore. Through a gross cocktail of taking a technical death metal template, squeezing all of the feeling and memorability from the riffs, breakdowns, and linear “riff salad” song structures with no repetition or thematic continuity, the Canadian metal scene gave us the foundation for the horrendous abomination that was deathcore- the ugliest perversion of death metal the genre had seen since Six Feet Under collaborated with Ice-T. Ultimately, we remember Canadian metal as the musical version of a shit post- something so autistic and obnoxious that it made everyone around the world quickly realize that Canadian metal bands were something to be mocked and avoided.
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Tags: 2018, canadian metal, darkthrone, day of the rake, death metal, death metal general, leaf metal, leafs, metal, ministry, morbid angel, news, satyricon, trey azagthoth

A Discussion on The Metal FAQ: Section 1.1

by Nicholas Vahdias on December 30, 2017

The Death Metal Underground FAQ is an ancient yet valuable and reliable document full of information to help the less initiated grasp some of the simpler aspects of metal. It is also a wonderful attempt to actually explain the Hessian ideals, culture and music. The music section is particularly small and contains a fairly large amount of information and therefore it is time to open it up and go into the details of the points mentioned and what needs to be changed, for it is only through constant analysis of past work can we build upon them and progress.

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14 Comments

Tags: faq, Heavy Metal, metal, music theory

Death Metal General- Ruined Holiday Edition

by Brock Dorsey on December 29, 2017

Since there have been exactly zero stories in the metal news this week warranting their own article let’s make the most out of the opportunity to try something new: A rapid-fire news roundup in chad imageboard format.

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8 Comments

Tags: 2017, Black Metal, cannibal corpse, cash grab, death metal, death metal general, ghost, immolation, metalcore, tours

Dark Metal (2017)

by Johan Pettersson on December 25, 2017

For this Christmas season, a new view of underground metal. Presenting the:

Dark Metal Compilation

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17 Comments

Tags: dark metal, death metal, Doom Metal, merry christmas

Metal Vocals are Obstructive. Remove them.

by Brock Dorsey on December 24, 2017

There are many well cultured intellectuals who, when presented with metal music, will immediately be tuned out by the vocals. This results in much of the metal collective being comprised of hold-my-beer normies and most of the world’s high IQ population never grasping a music genre that has both the depth and the complexity they yearn for. Moreover, vocals in metal have not progressed AT ALL since the 1990s and therefore vocalists have been rendered indistinguishable from one another. Through this understanding comes the ultimate revelation: metal vocals, more than any other factor, are hindering the next great wave of metal.

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47 Comments

Tags: 2018, Black Metal, culture, death metal, Doom Metal, Heavy Metal, innovation, Instrumental, metal, music, Philosophy, trends

Sadistic Metal Reviews: Chevy Chase Chainsaw Massacre

by Brock Dorsey on December 20, 2017

Twas the 5th day before Christmas, and all through the house, the creatures stared concerned and suddenly in need of psychiatric therapy. My wife said I have that crazy look in my eye, as my boss had jipped me on my Christmas bonus- the holiest thing of the American middle class baby boomer. The urge to kill left me trembling, barely able to stand, and I frantically raced to the garage and grabbed my chainsaw and son’s hockey mask. As the voices got louder, I found myself speaking in tongues- vocalizing a string of obscenities as if possessed by otherworldly entities. In an attempt to quiet the deafening commands to kill, I remembered that death metal was an outlet that had saved me years before. But it was 2017, and I did not know what the new death metal sounded like. But I had heard that Bandcamp were going to save the world with their social justice, so I thought I would listen to the top selling death metal bands on the first page of Bandcamp. Surely they had the most sales, and therefore were the most trustworthy, and true to the old death metal sound. I decided to download all 8 albums and burn to CD to listen to on my Walkman CD player. But when I heard…. when I heard… when I heard…

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14 Comments

Tags: 2017, bad music, blood duster, death metal, hipster bullshit, Krallice, metalcore, sadistic metal reviews