Malevolent Creation Seeks New Vocalist

Malevolent Creation are seeking a new vocalist on their Funbook page. The band has apparently fired Bret Hoffman. If you can do Malevolent Creation style vocals and are desperate to be in a known death metal band to validate your metal credentials as you have you low-self esteem, you should contact Phil Fasciana. Otherwise just contact him if you have a better growl than Dave Ingram and want to play shows despite lacking musicianship.

(more…)

4 Comments

Tags: , , , , ,

Hidden Metal In Plain Sight

Underground occult metal blog Praefuscus Ferrum recently posted a piece entitled “Underground turned Funderground, and the Obscurantist Elite” proposing that what killed underground metal was widespress consumer access to new technologies such as the internet. These and the increased exposure to fans led artistically successful underground metal bands to pursue raw consumerism at the expense of writing transcendent music. D.A.R.G. points out that “the truest artists purposefully hide away from the profane eye” as the communication mediums the underground metal utilized (physical mail, tape trading, and BBSes) have been usurped by ones more accessible to laymen. He states the underground became the “funderground” in the blink of an eye as mainstream rock and pop fans who felt adventurous wanted rock and pop music with “black” and “death” “metal” production aesthetics, not actual death, black, or even heavy metal. Now the musicians actually writing novel underground metal compositions hide unbeknownst to the typical beer metaller in plain sight.

(more…)

11 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Sad Pandemic of West Coast “Black Metal”

Today’s American black metal has found itself right within the parameters of Poe’s Law which, when applied to this abomination of a music scene, would sound something like this:

(more…)

27 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tankard Belch “Syrian Nightmare”

Tankard vomited up a new track from their upcoming album of beer metal, One Foot in the Grave, that’s coming out on June 2nd on Nuclear Blast Records. “Syrian Nightmare” sounds like a lamer version of the already lame modern day Sodom to appeal to social justice warriors and Sally Struthers types. What happened to making dropping payloads of napalm on third world peasant children for crispy, cancerous death sound like trends mosh core fun for people in tight, patched up denim tuxedos and high top sneakers to mosh to? “Feed the Syrian Children” is incredibly boring. War is a natural form of entropy. Why don’t yuppies want to live a healthy, all-natural life style?

(more…)

12 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Evil Invaders Announce Feed Me Violence

Recently and rightfully deported Z-list speed metal rehashers Evil Invaders announced on their Funbook page that they have a new album of trends mosh core fun coming out. Feed Me Violence comes out September 29th on Napalm Records. Evil Invaders promised to sell out and have lame glam metal choruses like Testament. You know this is going to stink like a bathroom stall at a truck stop with a few holes drilled into the dividers.

(more…)

3 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Entrails Preview “World Inferno”

Z-list Entombed ripoff Entrails posted the title track “World Inferno” from their upcoming World Inferno album coming out June 16th on Metal Blade Records. Nobody asked for another Entrails album. Entrails albums are shelf-turds meant to take up space from better, more worthy fans. Big metal labels release them to flood the market and prevent others from gaining a foothold in it. Entrails weren’t good enough to make in back in the early 90s and aren’t good enough to make it now. “World Entrails” is rock-structured death ‘n’ roll bull diarrhea just like later Entombed. I would rather eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while sipping a juice box through a straw like a six year old than listen to “World Beater” again.

1 Comment

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Incantation Release “Rites of the Locust” Confirming Suspicions That They Will Further Bowdlerize Themselves

Incantation released the first “single” well preview track of their sure to be mediocre upcoming album, Profane Nexus. “Rites of the Locust” rehashes their past material into an ultra generic death metal song. The actual song sounds like it rehashes a bunch of licks on the already rehashed Vanquish in Vengeance.

(more…)

5 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

LG Petrov Insists He Still Has Rights to Entombed Name

Original Entombed vocalist Lars-Göran Petrov insists he still has a right to use the Entombed name as an original member of the band despite losing a trademark despite in Swedish court  to lead guitarist Alex Hellid and the other original members according to a Swedish press release translated by Blabbermouth. Petrov insists that the court said the rights to the name and trademark due not just reside with Hellid (the only original member to never leave Entombed) or himself (the only original member still regularly touring as Entombed A.D.) but belong to all of the original members of Entombed in common.

(more…)

16 Comments

Tags: , , , , , ,

Classic reviews:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z