Woolftooth – Woolftooth (2018)

Stoner metal. What bullshit. Why not just get stoned and listen to good metal? Burzum, Incantation, or even Bach is still incredible music when stoned out of my gourd. Other than giving me the amazing ability to eat an entire large Hawaiian pizza, marijuana intake never fundamentally changed my taste or personality. This fact makes stoner metal, and stoner ‘culture’ prima facie stupid. By that line of reasoning, my having listened to Wolftooth’s newly released album “Wolftooth” stupid. Yes, dear reader, I do stupid things so you do not have to. Stoner culture is not for people who smoke the reefer, it is for stupid people who smoke the reefer.

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SUFFOCATION’S BASTARD CHILDREN

Some bands perfectly encapsulate a sound and an era through the appropriation and development of an existing idea. Van Halen fascinated the mainstream with his take on tapping and his twist on virtuosity which had existed for centuries on various string instruments. Iron maiden took the harmonies from Thin Lizzy and adapted them for their long narrative epics. Suffocation took the slow thrash metal staccato riff and completely changed its use by using them as breakdowns. While those three bands are heavily associated with their respective techniques that have been used by all sorts of bands, Suffocation has spawned multiple subgenres that are all terrible and are completely eluded by the original intention.

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FRANK MULLEN RETIRES

Aging Suffocation vocalist Frank Muller has officially announced his retirementtarget=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external” from music as the extreme metal retirement wave continues.  Spanning an almost 3 decade career exclusively with the same band, Frank had one of the deepest gutteral vocal tones of the early 90s and enjoyed an unusual amount of success in his later years when Suffocation’s technical death metal style became interchangeable with the deathcore fad of last decade.  Frank now plans on attempting an acting career but will probably end up giving up on it soon and opening up a pizza restaurant in Staten Island instead.

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BASED DESTROYER 666 BTFOS SOYBOY CALI VENUE

Watain and Destroyer 666 have moved their 3/16 show in California to a new venue after the cucked owner of the soy-filled DNA Lounge publicly menstruatedtarget=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external” over mean words said by Destroyer frontman K.K. Warslut last year.  After trying to kick the band off the bill, the tour’s promoter promptly fucked over the venue by moving the show to Social Hall on 1270 Sutter Street on just a few days’ notice.  Warslut proceeded to verbally emasculate the DNA lounge owners via the band’s Facebook page:target=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external”
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We Merry Few

For the older among us, being in a band was something of a badge of honour; sure, there were more than a few bands around, but not so many that it was still worth comment when people learned you played in one. Musicians were and are not all that common, but music scenes are inherently incestuous and the number of bands expands until nearly every musician is leader of his own that features players from other bands. It was comradely, fractious, fun, and instructive. But in the modern music world the concept of the band is in rapid decline.
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DMU STAFF ANTI-DOXXING POLICY

Death Metal Underground has formalized a policy that it WILL NOT doxx any former writer, editor, user, or frequent commentor.  So to those former editors and former writers that continue to hysterically spam the comments section in bitterness of our current staff’s superiority without realizing you’ve used your actual/writer names from the same IP address, don’t worry- I won’t doxx you, even if I may have threatened in classic Brock-mind-game fashion.  While you are correct to assume hot-blooded Brock Dorsey is the most sadistic writer/editor in the entirety of music journalism and will go further than any other, I can assure you that I do in fact bare the loyalty of the Templar. In all and complete seriousness, I dearly respect each and every writer that has contributed to Death Metal Underground over its nearly 3 decade reign, and especially hold admiration for the editors that had the strength to survive more than 6 months as creating daily engaging content for a metal site is quite the challenging task.  You all are welcomed and encouraged to return, but I can’t promise you won’t receive IP bans if your menstruation levels are inexcusably excessive as they have been lately due to the Templar mercilessly trampled over your reissue-marathon coverage and your boring beta-male occult philosophical outlook.  I also am infinitely grateful for our frequent readers and especially those who consistently engage in our nihilistic killing fields of a comments section, even if we have opposing points of view and particularly when feedback is thoughtfully challenging of the narrative.
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ANALYSIS: DEMIGOD’S “AS I BEHOLD I DESPISE”

Hailing from Finland and one of the leaders of the short lived Finnish scene that delivered some of the greatest music to ever grace the twentieth century and that genuinely scared most “metalheads” as this was truly an intellectual movement that retained the essence of metal while completely deviating from the norm musically. It is very hard to regroup these bands into a specific style but the closest connection between them is their ability to complete deform common scales and patterns with strategically chromatic notes.

Demigod had a strong understanding of how to make songs with a limited set of complex ideas and how to convey themes of apocalypse and human decay and the role a strong individual within that apocalypse. “As I Behold I Despise” is the first track after the intro and sets the frame of mind of what’s to come after through it’s use of a recursive melody that is always changing, blistering tremolo riffs and hyper active drums that don’t steal attention but empower the guitars.

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Endless War : The Similarities Between Metal and Wrestling

 

Wrestling is the oldest sport in existence. One can find it in any culture on earth, Egyptian hieroglyphs depict various techniques, Islam recognizes it as one of the main sports for preparation in combat and European knights trained extensively as a lot of armored fights quickly become tests of who could pin who to be able to deal a finishing blow with a dagger through the gaps in the plate armor. Throughout the years wrestling has proven to be the best art for all forms of combat as every region in the world has at least one form of indigenous wrestling.

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RiffsandBeards Hosts Classic Riff-Off

There is an Instagram group known as “Riffsandbeards” that is currently running a contest until March 13 awarding prizes to whoever in the USA can contribute the best riffs meeting the following criteria: you must download and write to the given sample drum beat, and you must upload the video of yourself playing your riff to the beat in two weeks from when the contest was announced. You can view everyone’s contributions by searching for #riffsandbeards3 on Instagram. Given that the only people playing guitar anymore that use social media are modern metal guitarists, the results are an interesting window into the mind of the modern player and broadcasts the pitfalls therein in blaring, naked transparency.

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