WAT? Testament Guitarist Denounces Israel

Alex Skolnick, the guitarist of mediocre thrash metallers Testament, has for some reason decided to go out of his way to go on anti-Israel tangent for no reason.  After the band preformed there last week, a few of the members posted photos of the band posing with the Israeli flag and a number of roasties from the Israeli army.  But on Skolnick’s post, his photo is preceded by a ridiculous rant on how he wants to preemptively explain that he thinks the state of Israel and its president are horrible and that he’s ashamed of the soldiers and the flag (except for the fact that the flag has the star of David).  He then goes on to state that he is Jewish blooded but thinks Judaism is bullshit and apologizes for Israel being mean to the Palestinian terrorists that tried to invade/destroy Israel and still continue to commit acts of terrorism now that all their friends bailed on them.  Hilariously even the fake-news-fake- Jews of MetalSucks praised Skolnick for denouncing the homeland of their people as social justice warriors and progressive liberals notoriously disallow Jewish symbols to be displayed while they protest Trump/men/etc and march in favor of sodomy and degeneracy.  This event again goes to show, as many have in the past, that social justice warriors don’t really care about Jews when they oppose antisemitism as they only feign outrage to project a moral high ground that benefits their cause.

(more…)

29 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Atlantean Kodex Live Album is Bad

At first glance, this album boasts a cool cover and impressively long song lengths, making a strong first impression. Then I hit play. It didn’t take long to realize this is really, really bad live album. It is not tightly played at all. The two guitars are not in sync and neither are the drums. You have to suffer through really bad lyrics like: “Onward to the sun” and “Destiny is calling!”. Everything is really bad waltzy Sabbath imitation but really boring. I can fairly say that this album qualifies as epic German cheese. So of course it will be popular. The singer sounds like the guy who sang those Budweiser ads Real Men of Genius.
(more…)

16 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Death Of War Metal Imminent!

For years, Nuclear War Now!’s forum has been the haven for life dropout D&D neckbeards searching for some form of friendship and community. But according to website tracking metrics, the site has seen a massive decline in it’s traffic over the past 6 months.  While viewership of metal sites can rise and fall unpredictably on metal sites, the above statistic should frighten anyone who cares about keeping their site relevant.  Sites with active forums should be doing much better than your the average blog-style metal site, so the numbers above show an unforgivable descent into irrelevancy.

But given that the site is predominantly frequented by war metal fans that have no regard for actual music, the crash in interest also proves something far bigger:  war metal, as a sub genre, is in its last days.

(more…)

57 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Sacramentum “Far Away From The Sun”

Sacramentum are heroes in the more melodic black metal style that appeared in Sweden after the initial Norwegian scene had worn itself out. Caught between the pop sensibilities of what was starting to develop in Gothenburg and the ambitious yet choppy compositions of Dissection, Sacramentum forged their own sound in that narrow gap, never stealing ideas from either side and searching inwards for inspiration. Far Away From The Sun is a particular track that shows joy and happiness while still denigrating human life. A strong understanding of the black metal melodic narrative has allowed them to reconcile such clashing emotions without showing the slightest contradiction.

(more…)

26 Comments

Tags: , , , , , ,

Roman Salutes Are Too Evil For Watain

At the end of last year, we predicted that overt satanic lyrics and themes in metal would see their last days. There is no band that will accelerate this quicker than goofball circus act Watain, who market themselves as the evilest band in the world by LARPing as an American biker gang and staying in character through all media interactions. By doing so, they can act like they’re more “trve” than Dimmu Borgir and Dark Funeral despite being even more campy than both in their music and aesthetics.

But in the most cowardly of moves, the band kicked out the only credible member- former Dissection guitarist Set Teitan- because a picture of him doing a Nazi salute surfaced on the internet.  Though the band hides behind the lame excuse that “he left so we wouldn’t have to talk about politics,” it’s clear that the move was desperation on the part of Watain as they struggle to preserve their cash grab machine.  But regardless of whether lefties decide to shutdown Watain’s freak show carnival tour, the band will never survive this incident as the few supporters they had will likely realize that Watain are as timid as they come.

Make no mistake, I’m not at all defending what Set Teitan did, as all Hitler/Nazi LARPing is a corny stunt pulled by fat redneck rejects so they can feel extreme from their mom’s shed.  Instead, I’m celebrating as the Watain scam will finally lose all traction and the band will soon be homeless and broken in the streets.  Though they thought themselves to be instruments of the devil, they ultimately did a better job serving God by destroying the satanic metal scene from within.

(more…)

38 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Violent Opposition – Utopia Dystopia

This is the awesome grindcore band from Berkeley that predicted sport rioting would totally take off after the election. They are the post nuclear hippie van version of early Napalm Death. The new album opens with a totally awesome grindcore song called Controlled Opposition, which has a series of jagged hammer-on type riffs, followed by a brief rock riff at the end. Everything is crypto now, so let’s get paranoid!

(more…)

9 Comments

Thoughts on Composition

Metal music inherited the album concept from pop music. Originally, records could only hold about 3-5 minutes of sound on each side. In the 1940s new techniques allowed each side of a record to hold around 20 minutes of music on each side. Because of these limitations, the ‘single’ became the standard composition in popular music. As LPs became more prominent, the single, played over the radio, was used as the marketing device to sell albums: a couple of catchy singles swimming in a thin grey soup of filler material. Because it is only marginally more difficult and expensive to record and produce a whole album, there are much higher profit margins on LPs than on singles. That a pop album was not a consciously constructed artistic whole is borne by the fact that pop ‘greatest hits’ albums are easy to listen to, straightforward affairs. Consider a greatest hits album from a metal artist… at best it is off-putting and at worst it is a flaccid, confusing affair because all the songs have been removed from their appropriate context.

(more…)

24 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

¡So Woke! Decibel Mag Goes Full Soyboy

Decibel Magazine has miraculously erased three decades worth of credibility by posting the most embarrassingly tearful editorial that metal journalism has ever seen.  It is impossible to read damn the thing without formulating the mental picture of a balding, big breasted obese man in his 40s watching CNN with his even more obese tattooed wife as both cry their eyes out at the far-left propaganda being spewed out at them. 

(more…)

38 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sick Pedos Inquisition Dropped From Label

Season of Mist have dropped scumbag frog-metal band Inquisition after it became known that Dagon is a sick pedophile fuck who pleaded guilty to child porn charges in 2009 for having sexualized photos of young girls and boys on his hard drive. Hopefully this will be the end of Inquisition as they were a terrible Immortal ripoff that became a flavor of the week favorite of hipsters only due to the undying hipster quest to find the most awkward two piece band in existence.  If we are lucky authorities will deport Inquisition back to Columbia, investigate their behavior at all of the all ages shows the band played, and, if any misconduct ensued, speedy trial and death penalty!

(more…)

80 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Introduction to Power Metal, Part I: Origins and Influences

(Join DMU Legend Johan Pettersson for what may be the most expansive analysis of power metal ever presented in the first of a 3 part series.  Listen to the accompanying suggested listening here)

Of all the subgenres and styles that fall within the metal spectrum (hence excluding unmitigated relapses into rock such as death’n’roll, stoner, nu- and indie metal), power metal most definitely counts as the one that has received the highest amount of scorn and ridicule from critics, fans and outsiders alike. (more…)

16 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Classic reviews:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z