I’ve never heard this band, and this post is about critics, not the band:
ABHOR’s masterful (and MORIBUND debut) “Ab Luna Lucenti, Ab Noctua Protecti” is released! and lately, it’s been slaying the critics worldwide, as these snippets are testament to:
•“Abhor seem to want to transcend, and judging by the quality of the songwriting, musicianship, and esoteric hymns found here, they have succeeded” – Zero Tolerance [5/6 rating]
•“The two different elements, raw and symphonic, combine very well…intersects nicely with moments of despair and melancholy” – About.com
•“Packs in enough weird character to make this well worth the time of occult metal voyagers” – MetalReviews.com [8/10 rating]
•“A pretty successful effort, and an enjoyable and accessible listen” – Eternal-Terror.com [4/6 rating]
•“An epic release and could end up making my top ten list at the end of the year” – Wickedchannel.com
•“So different and a refreshing change from either the full-on symphonic or grim black metal you get most of the time” – Absolute Zero Media webzine
Yes, they rave about everything.
And yet… and yet there’s a lack of real substance.
What can we learn about The Critics?
Yeah, I wanna know at what time to listen out for those riffs that fucking rip and how fucking ballsy it is.
Anyone up for some male bonding? And by that, yes I mean group anal sex.
“So different and a refreshing change from either the full-on symphonic or grim black metal you get most of the time”
Definitely the most descriptive one.
Also:
transcend, esoteric, occult [metal voyager], different, refreshing [change]
good keywords if you wanna write reviews for some shitty zine that you don’t care for if you just need some $$$.
1) find shit band
2) slap in ‘metal words’ (that you probably found in DLA reviews)
3) ???
4) profit!
lol messsi owned by nesta
morons look at these people they are actually having fun: http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/laughter-new.jpg
“I had saved a newborn lizard, the guy was nearly transparent, today from the bowels of my shower drain. He was the same guy who fell in three days ago as I tried to catch him and release him outside. I hope he is well enough to eat and regain his strength.”
So, ANUS heads, how many of you really are aspies and,perhaps related to the first question, why does there seem to be such a craze about aspies on this site?
Oh, yeah, Ewan! Homie. If you read this, I’ve got two Russian Imperial Stout bombers waiting.
TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
these enjoy even more: http://bestbostondj.com/images/people%20having%20fun.jpg
How come there’s no black people in your picture? You racist!
ASSES TO ASSES
DICK TO DICK
IF GOD CAN’T HELP ME
HE’S A TOTAL PRICK!
http://www.heroichomosex.org/crw/crwimages/joinus.jpg
Haha, you guys are one to accuse people of buzzwords. At least these reviews address the music as it is. They don’t write bullshit like “thematic cells coarse through the stratosphere with viral continuity of motivic ambiguity, painting a fierce aurora of Netzschean ideals in the polar night sky to urge warrior wolves into battle.”
This is clearly better
http://www.metalunderground.com/news/details.cfm?newsid=68785
“thematic cells coarse through the stratosphere with viral continuity of motivic ambiguity, painting a fierce aurora of Netzschean ideals in the polar night sky to urge warrior wolves into battle.”
Assuming this is a real quote, I *dare* an ANUS user to explain what this actually means without heavy jargon or pretense. Go ahead, do it.
Yeah, you can’t, because ANUS reviews are the epitome of subjective interpretation.
Also, if you guys are such computer geeks, why does this site still look like ass after 20 years of existence?
(To be continued…)
>notice its not a real quote
>realize the internet is for information and not pretty pictures
>kills self
The fact that I couldn’t tell the difference between that nonsense and the rest of DLA’s reviews says it all.
Keep trolling! Trolling the internet is such manly uebermensch behavior.
ANUS has never made a good-looking professional website. Why? I thought spreading your message was important?
Nope, it’s all about being all elite on the internet and shit.
If anus was about having a good appearance so they can spread their message, they wouldn’t be called anus.
It is pretty funny when people who imagine themselves as so Machiavallian and charmingly bourgeois are just anti-social fascists with no followers.
hi guys i just wanted to share this classic solar metal jam with you i hope you like it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPgHbt0ODr4 PS. ca veut dire que thematic cells course (sp., les gars!) through the stratosphere with viral continuity of motivic ambiguity, painting a fierce aurora of Nietzschean (encore une fois; mais en fait je ne suis pas sur moi meme d’avoir le bon orthographe) ideals in the polar night sky to urge polar wolves into battle….. c’est assez simple a comprendre ce qu’il veut dire……..