The new – and fifth – version of The Lodge webzine is finally online!
Version 5.0
After 4 years, it was high time to do an overhaul update: not only to keep it interesting for the reader,
both also to myself, as a motivational tool.
As you will see, I decided to set the new structure in a similar pattern to my homepage’s,
as the webzine is but a division of it to begin with: pursuing minimalism and simplicity ad aeternum!
Apart from this new version, there are also some goodies left:
an interview with singer-songwriter David Ferreira,
and 4 new reviews from the likes of 1349,
Nachtmystium, Pantheon I and Veil.
Also, bands, labels and promotional entities: should you like to get in touch or send some news, please update your address books with my new e-mail address: webb@webbworks.org.
To wrap things up, I hope you all enjoy this new update as much as me.
Keep it real,
Rui Webb
Webb Works
P.O. Box 87, 2796-901 Linda-a-Velha, Portugal
webb@webbworks.org | http://www.webbworks.org | http://www.facebook.com/webbworks
LOL YAY GO BRUNHILDE!!!!
>interview with singer-songwriter David Ferreira,
and 4 new reviews from the likes of 1349,
Nachtmystium, Pantheon I and Veil.
Hey, before I knew about ANUS I thought I was pretty metalhead. I was even known as the Metalhead Joe in school. Damn right everybody thought I was the ultimate metalhead with my long hair and my cannibal corpses shirt thugging my fat body. I reviewd metal abums in Metal archives and even got to Metal lord status, reviewing superficial tings like “RIFFS THAT FUCKING RIP”, and “METAL WITH BALLS”, then I read ANUS and I was so struck. I realized I’m a fag.
They actualy spoke about what the music was. Not just superficial thing like the riffs and blastbeats but the true philosophical depth behind metal. I was just so annoyed, what the fuck?? They are so much better than me. I looked in the mirror and realized I was no better that those malcore kids. I wanted music to just headbang and not think about, just like those morons that listen to the discoteque music just to dance and not think. So in that day I swore to take revenge on ANUS to make me feel that way. A little voice in my head told me, “wait, try to learn more about metal, study their point of view, even if yo don’t agree with everithing they say”. NAhh, revenge I answered.
SO from that day on I came everyday until the day I die to this site to troll on these posts. May the wrath of hipsterdom fall upon those who simply know more than me. HIPSTERS OF THE WORLD UNITE FOR COCK!!!!
that has to be the best copypasta ive ever read. keep it up, guy.
When the fuck are you guys going to put up the reviews for Mastodon?
I like how the stuff you guys pimp out advertises “hipster” bands.
WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO REVIEW THE FOLLOWING:
MASTODON
TOOL
LAMB OF GOD(OR BURN THE PRIEST, THE FUCKING RHYTHMS ARE INTENSE AS SHIT)
GOJIRA(OMG DEM CHORDS)
SLIPKNOT(HAVE YOU HEARD THE SELF-TITLED ITS LIKE GRINDCORE JAZZ FUSION WOAH)
WINTERSUN
MARILYN MANSON(OMG HES SO DARK AND HES ACTUALLY A REALLY SMART AND WELL SPOKEN GUY!)
I come to realize that my grudge against hipster metal or indie-metal or poser metal, is not the music in itself, but the kind of fans these bands attract. It is the pretense that their music is metal or even good music for that matter, that pisses me off.
I have nothing in this world but a sense of self-righteous affiliation to what I have learnt fron Anus to be real Metal music. Years of my lifetime spent in my bedroom listening to nothing buy metal music have given me an extense knowlegde on the matter.
It is unlikely that a Tibetan monk would know how to drive a car, use a cell phone or be qualified to handle a job cleaning modern toilets. Yet I am sure he would be profounly disciplined in the use of spiritual technology that Buddhism and meditation are; hence his spiritual insight might be far-reaching, we normal people could ever imagine.
Having dwelled in my base_ment all my life confined to a strict diet of underground metal and oatmeal have given me the prowess to tell what is metal and what is not.
Depeche Mode is not metal and I don’t see their fanbase claiming they are. Mastodon, Gojira and the likes are not metal but I see their fans barking like rabid dogs trying to convince themselves and others that their shitty rock music is indeed metal.
If I was not a loser I would not care about this; then again, I have nothing else going for me so, sadly, yes I do care.
Fuck all false metal.
I definately enjoy the outdoors and socializing with people who arent retarded, your argument is retarded.
I like socializing with cute boys with huge dongs.
Socializing is for modern proles! What philosophical justification can you give me for venturing out of my house and talking to “people”? Here I am my own lord and master, and I am also a Level 48 Paladin Hipster Slayer on the internet.
http://i624.photobucket.com/albums/tt326/JagsDomainCrew/Reactions/Nope.png
I’m with Aspie, most people must die.
Fuck Lord Aspie.
Why don’t you have a girlfriend?
Oh, shit. Wait. I know. It’s because you’re
>Depeche Mode is not metal and I don’t see their fanbase claiming they are. Mastodon, Gojira and the likes are not metal but I see their fans barking like rabid dogs trying to convince themselves and others that their shitty rock music is indeed metal.
What the fuck are you talking about? You’re an idiot. Mastodon fans just enjoy the music (which is metal, btw), they don’t give a shit if it’s tr00 kvlt metal or not. Instead I see you aspies doing exactly that, clamoring and barking constantly to deny the obvious and try to force the meme that “durp mastodon isnt metal”, just like the long-dead and never funny “Chuck has aids” thing.
http://www.metal-archives.com/images/1/3/6/1/1361_photo.jpg
Yeah, dude, those guys are hella gay. What the fuck up with that? You gay?
Mastodon is good populist metal for the hard-working proletariat. All your “true kvlt” black & death metal is elitist and racist music of the oppressive capitalist class which enables economic inequality and patriarchal tyranny. This is my favorite Mastodon song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23eimVLAQ2c
DEATH TO LEFTIST SCUM
Also, I wrote some lyrics. What do you guys think?
I woke up just to see your face from my dreams
You’re always there
always there
always there
YOU’RE ALWAYS FUCKING THERE
WHY DON’T YOU JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE
I arrive at school
you’re sitting in front of me
you turn to me and say hi
those words cut through me like I was butter to your hot knife
I stuggle to find some words
BUT INSIDE THE FIRE THAT I AM RAGES IN MY HEART
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU DO THIS TO ME
I AM A HUMAN BEING
I AM A HUMAN BEING
Yeah, when is the DLA going to review Mastodon’s first two records. They need to be included under the “Best Of” here. Yeah, they look kinda gay now but they’re all married and fuck female bitches by the truck load.
Remission and Leviathan! Review it now!!!!
Fuck Lamb of God
” ” Burn the Priest
” ” Slipknot
” ” Wintersun
I used to do everything DLA said, but then I heard Death and realized Prozak is just pissed that a Christian had a great, innovating death metal band.
HUEUEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUEHUEHUEHEUHEUHEUHE
dear hipsters and trolling homosexuals,
don’t you have more serious matress to attend to?
sincerely yours,
I’m done fucking your mom so to answer your question, no.
sincerely your moms,
hipster/hessian Mastodon fan
Mastodon epitomizes the Romantic spirit of Schumann or Baudelaire. If you disagree, I’d like to hear how three chord songs about Satan do.
SO MANY HESSIAN FAGGOTS ON THIS SITE
If Mastodon was metal, I would have probably left my base_ment long ago and pursue a life of commodity and contentment for the status quo. I probably would not be a virgin, most likely.
Yet, I choose to carry this burden called “love for underground metal” and its natural descent to a life of loserdom. People look at me with disgust and to be honest, I do not blame them. I have achieved nothing extraordinary in my life so far, other than thousands of metal vinyls, tapes and cds. If their was a higer God, dysfunctinal aspies like me should not be alive. I am at peace with that.
However pathetic you think my life really is, and you probably are spot on, I would not change my metal music for anything in the world! I may be a freak and a bum, but I am also dead serious when I say I would rather be dead before giving up on my metal music. There are metal fans like me I know and we are all virgins or fuck ups but I would die for metal.
I know you would not understand…
Baby the male organ is like gossip…it passes from mouth to mouth.
A night of rimming is what u need baby! My tongue is like an arrow of love! U need more cock in ur life.
Male who?
I came to this site expecting some hardcore gay porn; what I got was angry nerdy metal for obese losers. That doesn’t turn me on at all! But that picture of Mastodon was pretty hot, I jerked off and came within 2 minutes. I looked up their music and it gave me a boner too!
above: sheltered fat nerd who learned what “twink” means this week
>If Mastodon was metal
>implying Mastodon isn’t metal
>implying Mastodon isn’t one of the best metal bands of the 2000s
Here we go again…
Mastodon most definately is not metal. I’m sorry you’re easily confused by aesthetics, but the way they put their ideas together is undeniably indie rock. Please fuck off of this site if it makes you so buttfrustrated.
I jsut learned what twink means today. Waht’s your fucking point, asshole?
@ Levy_Spearmen
Son, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I made your mom fornicate with a dog and she’s dying! We gotta do something and quick.
Vikings and Visigoths: BAR BAR BAR BAR
whoever came up with this meme should be commended. Please raise your hand.
.
Too long have we lived under the shadow of the 100% Metal Forum guys. They feel superior just because they can type a quick “intellectual”opinion about metal music. What they don’t know is that “we the anus trolls” are the ones that bring the traffic to this site. People come to read our posts not the elitists’ posts!
Conservationist
ChapelOfTorment
Heydrich
JewishPhysics
nothingnowhere
yabb administrator
have nothing on us! Nothing.
We got a better roaster. It’s time we let them know who’s really in charge.
Barbarian Cock will be substituting Queero Mc Hungo as our queer mascot while Queero recovers from Hepatitis B due to casual rimming abuse.
Our regular hipster should address him as “Barbarian Cock” or “Bouncing Hairy Balls”.
Our substitute faggot should’ve been the Mastodon guy that’s always here telling us how hessian warrior-like this shitty poser metal band is.
Whoever put Adrian Mc Cocks on charge?
Dominating Fucker should be our fearless leader; our Aragorn. Brutal Slayer of Christians should be our Legolas and Levy_Spearmen our Gimli. Lord Aspie our Gandalf.
Prozak is Sauron and Conservationist the Witchking of Angmar.
Oh, and tiny midget is Frodo.
Suggestions anyone?
yea. If you don’t quit fooling around on your computer, you’ll be late for work at Wal-mart
Get to it ! Now !
Sorry, but Mastodon are not and never will be indie rock. They’re basically a metal band who are derivative of prog rock. Your super special genre isn’t incapable of getting populist/popular.
>I’m sorry you’re easily confused by aesthetics, but the way they put their ideas together is undeniably indie rock
Explain this. How is there a “metal” way to put ideas together, that’s fucking retarded. By that logic I bet Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner isn’t a metal song, get the fuck outta here, dipshit.
You’re a poser, Mastodon is metal, 80% of metal is aesthetic anyway. Looks like you’re the type hung up on aesthetics, what’s hipster or not, how bands look etc. Very ingenuine, dubious motives.
I there, I am the mother of the little boy who comes here several days a week to post on this site. He sufferes of acute depression and psychosis along with multiple personalities disorder. He at times thinks he is a gay Indie rocker that likes Mastodon and other times he thinks he is some kind of Hessian something swinging is wooden little swoord in the bedroom. But He as many others personalities. In fact all the posts in thes site are by THEM. I already took him to the doctor but things just seem to be getting worse. I want to ask for apologies to the gentlemen who conduct this site for all the inconviniences that he as put them through.
With kind regards
After months of training I’ve managed to retract a turd after pushing it nearly all the way out. But the second time it broke in half so I still have a long way to go until I achieve my lifelong ambition of continuous pooping.
DLA comment board is Hell, Prozak is Devil, fuckers here are minions of chaos, this is like Dante’s Inferno as written by Joyce, sulfur jacuzzi gay porn orgy, cool.
you must be new here.
http://www.anus.com/metal/about/faq/
Alright then, Mastodon is metal. Just the kind of metal “Hessians” wouldn’t listen to. The kind of metal experienced metalheads wouldn’t even know it exists. The kind of metal malcore kids and no0bs will listen to for six months before forgetting about metal altogether.
Most metal sucks. Mastodon sucks.
There is good metal and bad music.
Mastodon is bad bad metal but even worse music.
All my gay buddies have Mastodon cds.
We call it fag-metal or rimming-metal.
Mastodon cds + anal lube x thick veiny cock = typical mastodon concert.
>Alright then, Mastodon is metal. Just the kind of metal “Hessians” wouldn’t listen to. The kind of metal experienced metalheads wouldn’t even know it exists. The kind of metal malcore kids and no0bs will listen to for six months before forgetting about metal altogether.
I’ll say aye to the first one (and only using “Hessians” mockingly) but as for the rest of what you’re suggesting, you’re a retard. Mastodon is not a gateway band nor is it oafish mallcore. It’s a lot more well-thought out and well put together than most straightforward and plain boring hesspie metal.
>http://www.anus.com/metal/about/faq/
I don’t see how Mastodon doesn’t fit into that. In fact as someone posted earlier most metal even on the top ten list doesn’t fit into those descriptions.
Stop fucking pretending Mastodon are good at prog, I’m not going to get involved in the metal/not metal debate but fuck, shut the fuck up about their 1 dimensional songwriting skills.
Go listen to Camel or Yes or King Crimson.
Mastodon will be releasing the best metal record this year. It’s supposed to be on par with their early work. Mastodon is true hessian metal!
I look forward to it.
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/9426-blood-mountain/
u mad, aspies? u mad.