The Atlantic delves into how heavy metal, through its (a) honesty and (b) desire for epic meaning to life, keeps us from going overboard:
Black Sabbath, from Birmingham, England, was heavy metal. No joy here, nor any wisp of psychedelic whimsy. From the first note, this band sounded ancient, oppressed, as if shambling forward under supernatural burdens. With his use of horror-movie atmospherics—the tension-building tritone or flatted fifth—and the leering majesty of his riffs, guitarist Tony Iommi redirected the spiritual drag of the blues into an uncharted world of bummers and black holes. Bassist Geezer Butler, a mystical vegetarian, wrote the lyrics. Raised Catholic, Butler as a youngster had entertained thoughts of the priesthood, and for all the band’s occult trappings, his view of things was essentially orthodox, if a little on the medieval side: God over here, Satan over there, man flailing and biting his nails in the middle.
[…]
Culturally, metal has lost its boogeyman privileges, having been superseded in infamy first by gangsta rap and then by Britney with her shaved head and her dangerous umbrella.
[…]
Nu metal, the big metal noise of the ’90s and early ’00s, has come and gone. Metalheads never really went for it—too much rapping in there, and not enough warlocks. Where was the dread? The moral-astronomical scale?
The great scholar of heavy metal Robert Walser, doing research for his 1993 book, Running With the Devil, interviewed a Twisted Sister fan who told him that the easy-listening music favored by her mother had made her paranoid. In Walser’s words: “It so obviously seems to lie to her about the world.” – The Atlantic
It’s good to see the mainstream give this some thought.
FIRST!!!! MY LIFE HAS MEANING.
“Bummer black holes”? “Not enough warlocks”? Who wrote this shit?
I bummed a black hole once…
“Culturally, metal has lost its boogeyman privileges, having been superseded in infamy first by gangsta rap and then by Britney with her shaved head and her dangerous umbrella.”
Wow, so much bullshit in one line it’s making me want to punch the writer of that article in the face. Gangsta rap broke through in 1989 (NWA – Straight Out Of Compton) while black metal broke through in 1992 (Darkthrone – A Blaze In The Northern Sky) Both genres became saturated in 1996. The writer of that shit article probably thinks that 2pac was more br00tal than Burzum. Mentioning Britney Spears suggests the writer is just randomly putting stuff together to come up with an “entertaining” article for morons. And goddammit I’m so tired of people giving Black Sabbath more credit than they deserve just because they scared some hippies in 1971. The only good thing the mainstream can do is to stop existing. In fact I hope the whole world explodes today.
Angry Black Smurf, you seem to have a lot of pent up energy. You should redirect it in more positive ways. Have you tried blowing up a cell phone tower for instance? Peace be with you.
2011 spring: ANUS blog posts start kicking ass again.
Hi guys, I know this isn’t the best place to ask but I’m sure many of you have gone through this. I’m a 15 year old guy in high school and there’s this really cute girl in my class I’d like to date. She seems kind of interested in me as I catch her looking in my general direction quite a few times and smiling. What should I do??? The only thing that stops me is that she seems kind of afraid of my Morbid Angel and Darkthrone shirts.
Angry Black Smurf makes a good point. Furthermore,
Spring Break 2011: NIHILISTS GONE WILD!!!
Won’t all the cannabis inhalation make me insane?
> Spring Break 2011: NIHILISTS GONE WILD!!!
I’m sooo drunk! I normally wouldn’t do this because I find it to be a populist gesture that denies the natural beauty of power and doesn’t reflect the essence of the inner viking but *flashes moobs*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5HRzaOFhec
I get intoxicated on pink champagne and beat off babies to this song. THE WORLD IS MINE!!!!!
After visiting bars and concerts I often take metalboys home. First we talk about metal topics like how new Napalm Death is better than old Napalm Death and I ask them which Immolation album is their favorite. Then when I’ve won their trust I play this for them and start dancing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chYba6bt4aA
The look on their face is almost as good as a three hour shitting marathon! And that’s only when the fun starts! GHB is a powerful drug that has been helping me get laid since 2004.
Actually, I think it’s you that doesn’t like metal at all, sport. There chunk of metal I like is much more recognized and representative of the genre than the boring shit you espouse, which, like your socially outcast ass, was always confined to some obscure corner.
WHY WON’T ANYONE HELP ME?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oDXRo78rtY
Here you go fags, have a lesson in good metal:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjb2IwpyHng
I killed 3 homeless men today. My highest record yet. I doubt anyone can top that.
True death metal:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpNzKZQy1Pk
hey high school kid: just walk up to her with a serious look on your face and slowly stick your thumb in her mouth. she’ll get the picture!
Well I think that Gojira in the 2000´s is waaaay more influential to true tech-metal than black sabbath was to black-prog in the 80´s. Gojira’s music is passionate and beautiful in the avantagarde way they compose their music. Gojira is the future of metal once that Grindcore receded from prominence and alternative metal became infused with too much power-thrash structures. That’s why you all should listen to Gojira more than Burzum, Gorguts or similar grinding black-metal !
High school kid : make her listen to Morbid Angel and Darkthrone, she’ll understand these are bands with depth and power for grown ups and you’ll score.
Would have worked in the 80s and 90s, not today.
Metal’s youth market is exclusively composed of out of shape virgin geeks.
So I decided the best thing to do was to head into class wearing a GOJIRA shirt. I jumped on my desk and said in a commanding voice: ‘GOJIRA are the greatest metal band around today!’ I then began to shit myself and fling the feces all over the class. People were running around and screaming as I daubed an inverted cross on my now bare chest in my own excrement. Everyone else was terrified but that one girl looked at me and spoke thusly: ‘Wow! I’m so impressed by your transcendental blasphemy! Take me as your bride!’
With the growing interest in Hessianism, those out of shape virgin geeks will go to the gym, chill out, and get laid.
Woaw, high school kikd, you stole my technique !
If a person wants to be a fat bisexual virgin who masturbates outside middle schools, then that’s just his lifestyle choice and it’s as valid and meaningful as anything else.
TELL ME JUST TWO OBJECTIVE REASONS WHY BURZUM OR MORBID ANGEL ARE BETTER THAN GOJIRA… WE ALL KNOW YOU CANT BECAUSE YOU HATE GOJIRA BECAUSE THEY ARE THE FUTURE OF METAL! BURZUM IS THE PAST.
^: because MA and Burzum fans don’t write everything in full caps, this alone denotes a superiority in terms of self-control and general cultural level which you’ll never achieve by listening to Gojira.
Man, not only do you need to get out more, apparently you need to get out more on the internet too. The Morbid Angel Myspace is full of beaners (majority of their fanbase) who do exactly that.
YOU JUST HATE GOJIRA BECAUSE THEY HAVE MUSCLES AND GET LAID WAY MORE THAN U TRANSCENDENTAL BLACK METAL DORKS!!
LOL YAY GO BRUNILDE!!!
“Transcendental” isn’t the word I think of when I see some spotty unemployed creep painting up like a clown and going “rarr”
HEY! Relativist! You stole my view!
This is how good metal sounds like, maybe not at its greatest heights, but definitely a local maximum:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnJzxZJFRlk
IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH LIKING COCK? BIG JUICY COCK?
AM I ANY LESS OF A METALHEAD FOR THAT?
that was the worst shit ever
Hey faggots. You aspies with your clown paint and childish rage can never appreciate good music like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViEH57xQu1c
pop music with different instruments
There is no ‘blues’ in Heavy Metal – Heavy Metal is entirely derived from European Classical, German Waltzes and Celtic folk music.
As usual, Negruvoda embarrasses himself by posting puerile pop-rock.
Songs like these are true art:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucQLw3_70HY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McoZ3yiYGG8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTpCHMEcTR4
Here’s the real deal: I think this really carries the spirit of old school death metal, on a narrative structural composition that embraces the riffs and conceptualizes them in a neo-classical soundscape. Like Kraftwerk-cum-Bach played with distorted guitars.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdQ8w30j4CY
Fuck yeHA BROS!
fuck dis site
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpJZLwcVXOQ
This site sure attracts a lot of homosexuals. They must come for the anus.
I WAS BLESSED BY GOD IN HAVING WHAT YOU FOLKS WOULD CALL A VERY LARGE PENIS. AS SOON AS I REALIZED I WAS UNABLE TO PERFORM COITUS WITH MOST WOMEN DUE TO MY EXTREME SIZE, I DECIDED TO GET INTO CHRISTIAN METAL. I BELIEVE IN GOD AND HIS SON JESUS CHRIST, AND I BELIEVE IN METAL TO BE A VIABLE MEDIUM TO SPREAD THE WORD OF GOD. I CONSIDER MYSELF A METALHEAD BUT I WOULD LIKE TO LET EVERYONE HERE KNOW THAT ONLY LORD JESUS CHRIST IS LOVES US ALL AND WE SHOULD ALL ALLOW HIM TO ENTER OUR SOULS THROUGH HIS UNENDING LOVE.
God blessed me also with a mighty long penis. I tried many times to have sex with women but I could never fit all the way inside. This made me very depressed. I began fantasizing about being a woman myself, and taking massive cocks.
I started wearing women’s underwear under my clothes at work and when going shopping. It made me feel very turned on. One day I wore a dress and a cute blonde wig to the office – everyone was very shocked but couldn’t say anything due to the sexuality equality laws.
I called myself Beatrice and went to gay clubs; guys loved my massive dick. I let them fuck me up my ass. I told them to fuck my cunt. My dirty, messy, sloppy cunt.
One day, a guy told me to fuck him with my huge dick. I was nervous, but after a while it went in the whole way! The guy was in some discomfort at first but then screamed at me to fuck him harder! I was so happy I was so happy I had finally managed to fit my massive cock up a asshole!
i have a tiny penis and women dont let me fuck them …
Shit Levy, you know I come here for YOUR anus, baby. Love that tight, white skin around my black cock. Guess why they call you Spearman, you can take my tribal pole all the way day and night.
It’s “Spearmen” you dumb, faggit. Go die you fucking disgusting freak.
LOL YAY GO CHEVY_PRICEMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hear that? The people want an encore(though what’s with chevy priceman?).
You fags are pathetic. You fail to realize that you are just a construct of nature, but one that humans actually no longer need. Go die.
i wanna fuck levy spearmen’s mom with my tiny penis!!
No, you don’t…
i also wanna fuck levy spearmen’s mom with my even smaller pecker!!
can I also have a piece of that action too?
I’m taller than all of you.
Back when I was in high school, you didn’t need to smear yourself with feces in order to get women to notice you. In fact, there were no women at all. You just had extremely unsatisfying buttsex with your buddies and that was that, back when times were simpler.
I wanna see Levy_Spearmen fuck his mom with his tiny penis and her massive vagina!
Quit talking about that you sicko. My penis is a healthy six-incher with a robust, veiny girth, though it does bend to the left. I am sure women will not be frightened of it once I explain my confrontation with the jewish menace at my birth. They may even feel sorry for me, in a good way that only woman understand.
My dick is only 5 inches.
I have heard much about your dick curving to the left.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w628V9_r-Mk
Real fucking metal, far more artful and honest than your buttfrustrated goffik manchild blackmetal shit.
Is Levy_Spearmen’s mom hot? I mean is she worth banging? Cause I’m not dipping my 1.5 inch midget wiener into an old wrinkled flubbery wench! Does she even like anal? She better cause I’m giving it to her real hard and fast! She better have it clean too cause I’m not scraping no dried shit! Anyone here knows if Levy_Spearmen’s mom has a clean anus? Hey yo Tiny Hobbit, have you banged this guy’s mom in her anal fun hole? Does she like to swallow jizz?
Yeah she´s clean man! I think. Wait… I was too drunk that night and I can´t remember if it was Levy_Spearmen’s mom I was fucking or her little slut sister. I just remember it was hairy fuzzy warm cavity… mmmh now that I recall it was a bit too hairy. She was moaning like a bitch giving birth. Wait… it´s all coming to me now… I remember we were on a very dark room and Levy_Spearmen was knocking on the door asking: “Dad are you okay?”
Honestly, “have fun,” is all I will say.
Back in my day, you didn’t need a “woman” to “have fun.” All a man needed to enjoy himself was a bottle of vaseline and a scouring pad, back when times were simpler.
I fucked Levy_Spearmen’s mom! I made her sew her cunt shut and get a dick to fuck me up the ass.
Is there even a point in trying to seriously comment on these blog posts anymore?
Of course not. Fuck metal.
Disregard that, I want more gay porn stories!