French Canadian Gothenburg style metal band Forteresse announced a rehearsal album, Récits Patriotiques, today for all those who care about their boring Gothenburg material that sounds like early Amon Amarth with no tempo changes or variations for beer metallers who do not critically listen to music and prefer to just leave metal on in the background like a heavier version of smooth jazz they can ignore and check in on once every two minutes to see if the band did anything new or are back to scratching their asses. Récits Patriotiques will be released on March 18th, 2017 by Sepulchral Productions on 750 CDs for 750 fundergrounders or hipsters who want to crank frogified Davy Crockett metal to feel special about themselves like kale-flavored ice cream sandwiches. Preorder Récits Patriotiques here if you hate money and wear coonskin caps during sex.
From Sepulchrul Productions’ Zuckerbook page:
SPHS001 : Forteresse – Récits Patriotiques (Pratique d’octobre 2016) CD
18 mars 2017 / March 18th, 2017Récits patriotiques est une pratique enregistrée par Forteresse en octobre 2016, en prévision de la sixième édition du festival Messe des Morts, comportant des pièces précédemment parues sur leurs albums. À la base, le groupe avait prévu sortir cet enregistrement en édition cassette après le festival, afin de donner un aperçu de l’énergie déployée par le groupe lors de ses rituels pour ceux qui n’ont jamais pu l’entendre dans ce contexte, un peu comme il avait fait en 2011 avec « Une Nuit pour la Patrie ». À la lumière des événements ayant mené à l’annulation de la soirée ou le groupe devait jouer, nous avons décidé, d’un commun accord avec le groupe, de plutôt sortir cette pratique sous format CD en édition limitée à 750 copies, afin de lui donner une plus grande portée. Malgré le fait qu’il s’agisse d’un enregistrement de pratique, et donc que le son ne soit pas celui d’un album, la sortie sera accompagnée d’un visuel de qualité, avec pochette couleur et livret 8 pages.
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Récits Patriotiques is a rehearsal recorded by Forteresse in October 2016 as they were gearing up to the sixth Messe des Morts Festival, featuring songs from their released albums. The band initially wanted to release this recording on cassette format after the fest, to provide an overview of the energy of their live rituals for those who were never able to hear it in that context, like it had done in 2011 with “Une Nuit pour la Patrie”. In the light of the events that led to the cancellation of the evening the group was supposed to play, we have decided with Forteresse to release this recording in a limited CD edition (750 copies) to give it a larger scope. Despite the fact that this is a rehearsal, and that obviously the sound does not have an album quality, this release will come with a professional layout, with a color cover and an 8-page booklet.
Tags: beer metal, Black Metal, canada, cash grab, elevator music, Forteresse, funderground, gothenburg metal, Heavy Metal, nationalism, quebec, Québécois, rehearsal, sepulchral productions, upcoming release
I could post the same comment (as the one to Hierarkhes) here again, maybe slightly modified because while this is again thematically power metal up to the cheesy cover, it has black metal style vocals and sometimes, drums, and someone doing atrocious stuff on a keyboard that’s somewhat like non-atrocious things a black metal band might play on guitar). The text was entertaining, however, I can’t help wondering what became of the »no fun«. The »fun« in there is exactly this “nothing means anything. everything is ridiculous, life’s just a neverending drag queen parade” sentiment. Ha ha ha, what a fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usXaalWa3QU
[much nicer Italian band I found in the meantime]
Explanation for the contextually challenged[*]: This article (NB: That’s the ‘Forteresse announce’ text, not the one I’m just writing) mocks a Canadian so-called ‘black metal’ band which doesn’t really seem to be good for anything except ignoring it or cracking jokes about it. It was fun to read, OTOH, it was the second such article in a row.
“A long time ago”, a guy from Norway named Oystein Asareth (better known by his stage name Euronymous) had a record label called Deathlike Silence Productions (likely named after the first track on Obsessed by Cruelty/ Sodom) which had a motto “No mosh, no core, no trends, no fun”. And this “no fun” referred exactly to this “All the world is good for is to laugh about it. Fun, fun, fun!” these two articles where exhibiting. I enjoyed reading both of them but a neverending sequence (exaggerating a bit) of “ridiculous things” is actually pretty shallow and depressing.
I mentioned the band because that’s an Italian black metal band whose 2013 album I bought this week, on the grounds that ‘the music’ is also a bit important. Having mixed feelings about that so far: It’s good enough to keep one thinking about the music as it plays for 43 minutes in a row and I really like the 1st and 6th tracks but the others are stylistically different, closer to ‘recent’ Inquisition, and I don’t yet have an opinion on that. At least, they’re neither ‘glorious’ nor ‘funny’.
Not that I expect Mr SoWittyOhOhOhWittySo to ‘care’ about any of this.
[*] People who don’t understand anything composed of more than three words provided at least one of them is not ‘fuck’, or referring to more than one thing if at least one of the things it refers to is not a (preferably graphical) description of a (preferably gay) sex act.
Tl;Dr u have autism son
The Puppeteers in Larry Niven’s “Ringworld” were meant to represent the Jews.
“It’s boring!” is the most common opinion of television potatoes on everything.