Moonlore
The Spheres Beneath the Heavens
[Malicious]
Various individuals have mailed me in the past, stating "If a CD is
really awful, why even review it? You only make fun of it" or "You have
no right to treat such and such band like that, get a life". Well here's
a review for you complainers out there, since this is probably the worst
CD I've ever heard. Because of that, I will make fun of it. As for my
reasons: it would be unfair for anyone to put down ANY amount of money
for sludge like this. Fuck you Moonlore.
Somebody mentioned that these wastes of life released a great demo, so I decided to pick this release up. "It must be quite impressive to be licensed to Malicious Records and signed to Avantgarde" I said to myself. "With so many popular labels fighting over this band, they must be pure genius" I squealed like a little school girl before placing the CD into the player. Oh how I was wrong. Please don't buy this CD.
This ranks up there with such bands as Stryper, having to look at Poison band pictures, or even Metallica's style change into their "Load" album. If this CD were to get up and march in a parade, it would be a gay pride one. If the Village People had never existed, then the homosexual community would have no trouble finding a ton of theme songs on this CD.
I've actually only listened to this for a few minutes, since I just can't stomach it. I assume they are trying to pull off some "atmospheric, ambient, gothic black metal" here, but who the fuck would actually listen long enough to find out? Have you ever heard a young child say "Mother, if god exists, then why does he kill babies and kittens". After taking this out of my player I thought to myself "if the gods of metal exist, why do they allow bands like this into the scene?".
Besides utterly defecating on anything having to do with metal, they also finish the album off in a grand fashion. No, they don't just pull of an outro, they top it off with a techno track. Yes, a FUCKING TECHNO TRACK. Mainstream, "let's go to the club and look like a bunch of fucking idiots in our giant sunglasses and bright orange shirts" techno. What a miserable, insulting joke.
© 1998 brand
Somebody mentioned that these wastes of life released a great demo, so I decided to pick this release up. "It must be quite impressive to be licensed to Malicious Records and signed to Avantgarde" I said to myself. "With so many popular labels fighting over this band, they must be pure genius" I squealed like a little school girl before placing the CD into the player. Oh how I was wrong. Please don't buy this CD.
This ranks up there with such bands as Stryper, having to look at Poison band pictures, or even Metallica's style change into their "Load" album. If this CD were to get up and march in a parade, it would be a gay pride one. If the Village People had never existed, then the homosexual community would have no trouble finding a ton of theme songs on this CD.
I've actually only listened to this for a few minutes, since I just can't stomach it. I assume they are trying to pull off some "atmospheric, ambient, gothic black metal" here, but who the fuck would actually listen long enough to find out? Have you ever heard a young child say "Mother, if god exists, then why does he kill babies and kittens". After taking this out of my player I thought to myself "if the gods of metal exist, why do they allow bands like this into the scene?".
Besides utterly defecating on anything having to do with metal, they also finish the album off in a grand fashion. No, they don't just pull of an outro, they top it off with a techno track. Yes, a FUCKING TECHNO TRACK. Mainstream, "let's go to the club and look like a bunch of fucking idiots in our giant sunglasses and bright orange shirts" techno. What a miserable, insulting joke.
© 1998 brand